На русском языке: http://proza.ru/2008/12/17/96
I walked into the compartment and sat down against an elegant man in a black suit, who appeared then as I stood with my back to the compartment door in the hallway, looking out the window.
- He loves me! - I said, looking into his black eyes, "He loves me....
- Who, him? The one in the officer's uniform, just now running towards the slow-moving train, and beside the two soldiers to whom he had shown your photograph and ordered you to find it? Is this the one who loves you? Is he the reason you cry every night, and ask me-Satan-to kill you both, that you may be together forever? But why? Oh, yes, girl - girl - woman, you may be taken for a madwoman, but I know that you belong to those unfortunate ten percent of madmen on this Planet, who thoughtlessly let an idiot into their souls and even after humiliation and abuse - love? Well, who are you to love YOU? Who?
Are we on a first-name basis?
- And how else can I talk to you, if he "trampled" you like a door mat, puked in your soul, cheated openly, insulted you, was ashamed of you and said it out loud... and she loves him?!
- I already told you that I can't help myself, I asked you to help me forget him, I can't live like this anymore.... I wake up and fall asleep thinking about him, every second for two decades I think only about him, about Sasha.... I can't go on, help me! I don't want to live, I can't live like this anymore...
You have everything, everything, beautiful sons, a husband treats you very well, wealth, good fortune floats into your hands, just think about it, and He rewarded you with talents. Yes, I gave you talents, I give out talents, but not to whom you think and thank, He sees you as a "sheep" and a "slave". Tatiana, I almost showed you the whole world, you have a life that many women only see on the screen. What are you missing?
- The train was speeding up like a--, did he manage to get on the train?
- Yes, he did, you asked me to. This train is going to the..., you call it the last line. Then you'll be transferred to a ship and you'll sail to where you wanted to go, with him.
So we both died at the same moment and my wishes will come true?!
- Yes, not exactly, I want to prove to you that he is not one of those ten percent of fools, your Sasha is a normal man, he only knows how to fall in love, for a short time, that's all, you'll see that... Yes, you yourself will wish to bring him back, even put all your efforts into it, and you will bring him back, but you will have to come back yourself....
- Why should I?
- I didn't give you life, I don't have to take it back, my dear.
- So he's here, but why isn't he looking for me?
He's looking for us, he even looked in, but he didn't see us, it's an empty compartment, we haven't finished talking yet, and he would have interrupted us. Don't worry, you'll meet him on the ship... I have gathered you, such petitioners, and all of you at the end of the journey will realize that to love another person is not possible, especially the one who is not given this "gift" - to love.
- He loves me!
The man said with a grin:
- We'll see how he loves you. - and disappeared.
I stared at the wall in front of me and almost cried:
- He loves me!
What a sunny, beautiful day, here..., it's summer in this dimension, too, as there are days like this with bottomless, blue skies. Even the sight of mostly black-clad and crying people doesn't dampen the mood of us all on the ship. We are all happy, this aura of happiness envelops the ship, I stand at the edge and admire myself as if from the outside. Young, slender, beautiful, my hair fluffy below my waist, and next to him ...
I felt Sasha coming up, standing next to me, and his palm laid on mine. I looked into his eyes, we met!!! That happiness was in his eyes too, he was as happy as I was - we met!!!!! The ship began to slowly depart, for some reason the seeing off people started crying and stretching their hands to the ship, throwing flowers and wreaths, but everyone on the ship was happy, no one saw the tears of relatives and friends.
Something like dancing started, and Sasha suggested that we dance, but I, remembering that he had once been shy of me, thought, what if now I pressed myself against him like this and he got shy? I suggested we go to the cabin. Though, I really wanted to show everyone - here, what a beautiful man my soul chose, and HE LOVES ME!!!!
In the middle of the cabin was a huge bed, literally almost from wall to wall, he began to hastily take off his uniform and immediately threw it on the floor, without looking where what flies, without taking his eyes off me:
- I missed you so much, I missed you so much, it's been forever since we've been together!!!!
I immediately grabbed to literally tear off my clothes and was not even surprised that I was also in uniform. I see myself in it in almost all my dreams, so why should there be different clothes in another dimension? And after all, when we lived together, we often saw each other in uniform too. I was left without anything, and the uniform was lying at my feet, and although he was already under the blanket, I was in no hurry to jump there too. I approached slowly and I wanted Sasha to look at me well, to see that I was not ugly, that I had a model's figure, that my face was beautiful, that my hair was lush and long, and to compare it with all those he had traded me for....
I lay next to him in bed and the madness began, he touched me! Sasha stroked me, though once it was shameful for him to do it with me, he never stroked me, took my hand, kissed me, called me his favorite, and called me to marry, as he soon told me - on a drunken binge....
It was like that, like that, like that, my head was blown off. He entered me, and I came immediately and more than once, he smelled like then, which smell I remember to this day. HE was with me, and we had sex many times.... We both missed each other very much. I whispered to him, I told him, I screamed:
- "I love you, Sasha, I love you so much!
And he repeated the same thing after me:
- And I love you, Tanechka!!!
The exuberance of love and meeting tired us and lying next to very close, my head was lying on his chest, and his hand stroked my back and ass, suddenly he asked me a question:
- It's strange, a dream, and it's all so real? How I don't want to wake up? How afraid I am of losing you again, Tanechka?!
Sasha, you'll never lose me again!!! Never. We'll always be together. I'm so happy! I asked Him and now He's fulfilled our wishes, we're together forever.
- I don't get it, who did you ask and what do you mean, forever?!
- I asked Satan. I told him, "He loves me, it's you!" We died, we died together at once, and the train carried us to the last line, and the ship took us to another reality.
Sasha jumped off the bed and grabbed his harness, with a quick movement he pulled a gun out of the holster and pointed it at my chest.
Bitch, get me back here right now! Did you ask me if I wanted to die with you, you fucking Satanist witch? I'll shred you on the spot, you fucking bitch! Give it back right now, you fucking viper!!!! Fucking ****, you garrison bitch!
- Shoot, I beg you, Sasha, shoot!!! I can't go on living, I can't love you like this anymore, I don't want to!
- So don't love me, who loves you? Me? I don't live with you, I don't suffer without you.
Seeing that I can't be intimidated with a gun and words either, Sasha decided to change tactics:
- Tanya, understand, you don't care about anything, you don't want to live, so don't live, but why did you kill me? Why? You'll be buried there, Germany, humanly speaking, burned and buried in an urn... And what have you prepared for me, for your beloved, eh? Is that any way to love? I'll be packed in a cramped coffin...
Sasha, not you, your body, but we'll be together, won't we?!
- Okay, my body, but you love my body so much, you even remember the smell of it, and suddenly it's in a cramped coffin, to be eaten by worms, it will start decomposing, stinking, turning into ashes. I'm young, I don't want to die so early. If you really love me, will you talk to that goat and get me back?
He moved closer to me and hugged me, kissing my hair, face, arms, hands, shoulders, head, whispering:
- I love you, I really do, I promise, I'll leave everything there, I'll be only yours and with you, and what I said, it's a fool, with fear, from the surprise of what I heard. Well, will you do it for me?
Tears ran down my cheeks, I knew he was lying..... It was already light outside the round window, the sun was rising and a strip of land was visible in the distance.
- Okay, Sasha, I'll do everything as you wish. He, Lucifer, was right - it is impossible to force yourself to love, especially someone who is not capable of it....
We got dressed and went out on deck, everyone was sad, and you could see that the joy had gone somewhere, everyone in their cabins had the same conversation, those madmen who chose death, but to stay with their loved ones near and those who could not understand such impulses....
When the ship came to the pier, we all saw those who met us, they were relatives, friends, colleagues once deceased. They were rejoicing, but we had no joy. I went to the captain's cabin, it turned out to be the one who granted us our wishes. He grinned and said, blowing rings from a thick cigar to the ceiling:
- What, have you decided to turn the ship back? I can..., but your bodies remained there, as soon as the rope was untied from the mooring, so the physical ship went under water together with you all.... You're all ghosts here now and before they bury you there, you'll have to sail on all sails, he'll be gone in three days, but you, your body, can be put into the furnace at any moment. That's why ghosts hang around, people are scared by such restless creatures. What, your "he loves me" doesn't want to be with you forever? All right, let's go back.
The sails carried us towards the physical dimension. Half of the people were excited, rejoicing, and the other half of the guys and girls were sad, some of us were crying, having heard from our loved ones their insults, like then... The ship approached a deserted shore, our ship did materialize.
It was an empty sandy shore and as soon as we got off on the sand, one group separated from the other and ran away from the place. Sasha was with them. I stared at his back and tried to remember forever. Tears were flowing down my cheeks, the same unhappy girls and guys were walking along the shore, some of them were crying, some of them were asking me to take his life, that he couldn't live and love like that anymore.... "Tired..., tired..."
Satan was standing next to me, he said sympathetically:
- Kindergarten, you are all crazy, where will I take you, these abnormal ten percent, now? Why were you given such souls, why, for what sins?
I looked him in the eye and said: "He loves me, he loves only me, he has always loved and will always love only me!!!"
Satan looked into my eyes and said:
- I will give you the same one, a copy of your beloved, I will realize all your dreams that did not come true in your fantasies with him, but I will give you a hundred times more than you wanted, and he will love you as much as you love him, act the way you expected him to act. He's in your midst, look closely, and you'll recognize him..."
- "Does he love me?"
- "Yes, he loves you..."
2008