If I write you a love letter you will start being drawn to making changes in your life that you have not considered before. And that is horrible.
I am pushing no one. I am influencing no one. I am charming no one. I am guiding no one. I am luring no one in.
In fact, this is the worst thing I could do.
Sometimes I feel stifled living abiding by your pace and finding 0 reciprocity, but me petting my head with your hand is less interesting than a toy.
But you don't seem to get it and seem to hate me for not using you as the toy.
I don't want pettings. I don't want them from someone specific. I don't want them from you.
Should I? Is that your fetish or your trauma? Something tells me it's not the former..
..And so you seem to live for pettings. As long as people become pliable objects and you can pet your head with their hand you feel like you're married to the hand so it seems..
You spy on my feelings instead of looking at what is it that you really want from a relationship with a human being. "Has she relaxed her hand yet? Can I grab it and pet my head with it? No? Boooy she is mean"
That's a way to not get anywhere.
I am just gonna stand & watch your pace and see if there is a sign of any intelligent life on this mothafucka.
And of course I will cry a lot. It's a poignantly empty desolate void.