12818
My morning routine has been broken. I had to conduct the club from 12:00 to 14:00. After I woke up, I had breakfast and went to the meeting. I prepared an introductory speech last night, memorized it, and while going to the club, rehearsed it many times. However, when I presented it, I forgot some words and got embarrassed. Then, I had to admit that I failed, improvising for a couple of minutes to reduce the sense of awkwardness. The club went quite well. There were no problems with the topic. As one of the members said, we had a lively conversation. Yet, this feeling of embarrassment had been hovering over me for the entire evening. I talked too much and often couldn’t express my thoughts clearly or even vaguely. Sometimes, it felt as if I were saying total nonsense. My grammar was terrible. Sure, shit happens. Now, let it go. People have a pretty short memory. Next time, I’m gonna do my best, and everything will be forgotten. I wanna do a sort of critical analysis to figure out what caused all of this. I think that writing a script for the intro a night before club isn’t a good idea. If I wanna present a talk, I have to start preparing it at least a couple of days before a meeting. Even though there were only five sentences, memorization seems to be very risky. Everybody senses that I’m saying something I’ve memorized before; it looks unnatural and makes me feel stupid. I guess I’d better prepare bullet points and elaborate on them next time. Finally, I don’t like to use complicated and sophisticated sentences, so I think I have to make it simple. And if my speech follows the general introduction, I have to learn to summarize the opinions of others.
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