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Yesterday, I talked to A for more than six hours. Our talk resulted in peace. I came to her with the intention of saying that I was leaving, but while we were talking, this intention was defeated by stronger motives. I tried to explain to her that it was counterproductive to maintain our relationship in the form it had taken over the last few months, simultaneously doing the work that was supposed to bring her satisfaction. Her demands have relentlessly been increasing, and the only way for me to give her what she wants is to focus on work and cease to pay attention to our relationship. She now believes that our main problem is communication, which, according to her, stems from my inability to be consistent. She’s convinced that I don’t take responsibility for what’s going on. She interprets it in this way: she gets angry; it makes me feel guilty, and I blame her for this feeling, though she has no intention to make me feel guilty, but only expresses her emotions of sadness and disappointment, which are quite regular and normal parts of her present life. She doesn’t believe that money will solve our problems if we are unable to communicate. She thinks that I’m gonna be even more judgmental and sensitive to her negative emotions if I provide her with whatever she wants. So, in her opinion, I must learn how to tolerate her negativity and support her when she needs my help.
We’ve read her diary, which was kind of funny in terms of the character she created out of whatever she perceives as me. However, it wasn’t funny when she described how she exchanged messages with her ex-boyfriends on social networks, initiating dialogs with them. I got frustrated and told her about the girl I walked with yesterday. Okay…
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