The Adventures of the cat Elvis, formerly Elise
Once upon a time, in a distant kingdom, lived a common tabby cat. The paws and belly (quite large) were white; on the front legs were white stockings. To say that it was handsome, one cannot. He was just a normal, fat cat. However, Elvis was born smart. To this day, we still do not know how he ended up at shelter for homeless animals. But he knew the price. The cat was not friends with his incarcerated neighbors, so, without the others’ protest, would stuff his paw into their bowls and then grab a little food, quickly shoving it to his mouth. Do not let yourself give up in any situation: take advantage of the opportunity to get yourself something!
And, on one fine day, a young family decided to add to its membership a cute little cat. They took a long time deciding which one to choose. The choice ended up being our Elvis, who was then thought to be a female kitten. Marina had long dreamed of a gentle, soft cat. When the cat left its cage, he was not scared and did not lose his head! He approached each cage, ignoring the animal inside and quickly forcing his paw into a bowl of food, then swallowing his reward, and walking calmly on. His impudent behavior pleased the future owner; she once again specified that it was a female cat, not a male cat!
And so the cat was driven to her new home. There, she met the owner Sasha, and his children, Kevin and Danya. And the cat's happy life began! There was plenty of food, and water, too. And if she wanted something more delicious, all she had to do was go into the kitchen and meow. There was a soft sofa in the studio, where she could lie down on the books and notes lying around, and take a nap.
But then Marina wanted to say the kitty, so that she would not have kittens. Sasha went to the veterinarian, who was surprised that this was not a female cat, but a real male cat! The disappointed owners renamed Elise to Elvis. But a male cat is not the same as a female, mind you! His perturbation has no limits whenever Marina wants to take his hands. “I do not need your affection, I'm not a girl! You can stroke me sometimes—that's enough affection!” In the house, lived a young shepherd named Lady. She loved running around the house after Elvis, so that the poor animal had to hide under the couch. But when the dog was driven into the cage for the night, the cat would jump onto the roof and tease the dog with his paw.
But Daniel allowed the cat to sleep in his bed. What could one do about it? It was softer and warmer than in the closet!
“Someone had finally found for a room befitting my royalty. Danya goes away from home sometimes, but I miss him and his bed! Let me lick your face! Well, I caught these hosts red-handed; they leave me alone too frequently.
But who will feed me? Well, yes, my grandmother does come and pour the food in two bowls immediately. But am I a horse, since I eat so much? So I eat twice the amount that I need. And who will play with me?! Of course, my grandmother is too lazy to play with me, what sort of things can she have more important than me?!”
So the cat thought Elvis, daydreaming on the beautiful red couch Marina’s studio. It’s beautiful when no one interrupts one’s sleep by playing the piano or violin. You can barely bear it when Danya plays. I listen to him carefully. As Grandpa says, “good music should be loud!”
But one of these days came a little cutie that played disgusting sounds from the noble violin. I turned my back to him in disgust (excuse the language)! I also want to complain about my owners.
They (very cleverly) think that I'm not a noble cat, but just some little dog. I want to get some fresh air! So they came up with a way out so I do not run away: they put a leash on my neck! Well, I avenged them! There was a cardinal jumping in front of my face, thinking that I would not get her! But even though I was on a leash, I grabbed her and ripped her fluffy feathers. Don’t you forget it! I got revenge on my owners! Do not jump before my face, do not hold me on a leash. I'm a noble cat!
But these are not all of my grievances. Yesterday, I gnawed with satisfaction on Lady’s dog leash. Let her be free, too! And last month, there was a terrible accident. I like to run after Danya, but as he jumped into the bathroom, I did not even have time to look back, as my beautiful tail was pinched. The pain is terrible, the burden is enormous! So the owners dragged me to the hospital, where they put some plastic on my head. “Do not bite anyone, do not scratch the sore spot!” They even made Danya pay 500 dollars to the veterinarian, and I got drunk on sleeping pills. I had to deeply sleep in Danya's bed.
This is what Elvis the cat is thinking, as he falls asleep. And he dreams of such a dream: it seems that all cats of this kingdom-state decided to gather for a big meeting. And one night, a meow was heard on the huge palace square. A small, thin, scratchy, homeless cat was speaking. “Here, he says, have gathered all of the domestic cats of this kingdom. All of us have to work out and adopt common rules for us, and then execute them. We will no longer live without rules; there are no fights without rules. Our hosts for the most part deserve it!” For a long time there were arguments and quarrels, some cats even clung to the muzzles of others, but finally, a decision was made. Listen and read carefully.