Àâòîðñêèé ïåðåâîä íà àíãëèéñêîì;
ðîìàí: «If you get me» Ðîìàí «Åñëè òû äîñòàíåøüñÿ ìíå» Áåííàíè Èðåí, 2020 ãîä.
Chapter three
In the field of governess
After weighing all the pros and cons, she came to the conclusion that "it is better for her to find something to do, perhaps work, than just sit and wait for the next surprise." Immediately getting down to business, Lyudmila decided to get a job, feeling that lately she had become somehow "uncomfortable", and besides, she began to get bored without childish laughter, without playing with little hooligans.
Turning off the sound of the TV and rejoicing in her thoughts, she said to herself: “Fortunately, I have found everything I need. On the websites of agencies, where there are addresses with their phone numbers; great, yes, and now I don’t have to invent anything else ”, - she was filled with determination to call several of the assigned numbers.
She was pondering: She thought, continuing to lead her monologue, looking with irritation at the walls with annoying Italian wallpaper in multicolored shiny sequins: it means that he refused to help, thinking about his daughter, a university student.
As it turned out, he was not going to sponsor my literary interests, why did I agree to move to him?
It is quite understandable that Vladimir Arnoldovich considers this behavior appropriate, telling me that he intends to continue to give half of his income to Camilla. And there is no doubt that the fairly well-to-do family of his daughter, who is building villas abroad for herself, does not need such gestures from him, thought Lyudmila, returning to the question of his money, having received which, his daughter always stated that this few. "
At some point, she wanted to burst into tears, it is a shame when all these unforeseen circumstances suddenly arise in the path of bright plans. And, besides, Lyudmila found herself in a difficult situation, not knowing how to be and what to do, because, among other things, to work in the capital she needed a residence permit at the place of stay, which Lyudmila did not have here.
As it turned out, Vladimir cannot do this without the consent of his daughter, he is not capable of anything. But luck smiled at her even now, when one of Sysoev's friends agreed to register Lyudmila in his Moscow apartment.
She tried to ignore the obstacles that arose, given that, having become more complicated, life does not become sweeter when the old "curmudgeon" ceases to be friends with the mind. Leaving in the morning for the research institute, he, as usual, left her some small change for expenses, which could only cover a trip to the subway, for a maximum of one or two agencies. But, as in a fight, the more the iron gloves of the “iron grip” were tightened, the more persistent Lyudmila became in the constant search for suitable vacancies.
“It's strange when a person like Vladimir Arnoldovich, who has connections with influential people, about which he loved to talk at his leisure, in the case when it comes to me, for my employment, he will not lift a finger.
Or maybe everything is much simpler, - taking out one by one the vases standing on the shelves of the sideboard, she reasoned, wiping the dust off them, he just comes to the conclusion that the situation suits him, believing that I should be here with him. Therefore, he deliberately limits funds, keeping all my needs and expenses to an insignificant minimum. "
Lyudmila loved working with children, therefore, looking through the ads, she stopped at the vacancy of a governess, and also did not lose hope that she would be able to free up some time for her literary hobby, which is quite compatible with shift work.
The romantic mood brightened her life, dreams lived in Lyudmila's soul, but at the same time she was mischievous, with her characteristic enterprise. Lyudmila hoped to distribute the time in such a way as to be able to rotate in the literary environment; meet fellow writers at literary clubs and at literary house events; Of the Central House of Writers.
“Here it is, the reverse side of the same medal with a difference in rhythms, inconsistency of age, elementary, vital interests. Her thoughts returned to the plot, which she did not want to remember now; About this meeting of the New Year, about an evening at "Chistye Prudy".
Cheerful faces, Moscow shines with hundreds of lights, illuminations are hung everywhere, decorating avenues, metropolitan parks, and near the metro there are tall fir trees in garlands. Life is in full swing, crowds of people rush to luxurious restaurants in the pre-holiday bustle, everything sparkles, sparkles, is reflected with multi-colored glare, artificial glow, playing with spots on white snow canvases.
Snow covered the path leading to the small cafe. Not far from the metro, softly twinkling multicolored lights beckon. Before my eyes is a picture: she walks along the snow-covered alleys, then asks Sysoev to take several pictures, but all of them are again indistinct and blurred - this is his trembling, his hands twitched.
He is pulled back, impatiently, he hurries to return to the table, as for a child there is no holiday without sweet sweets, so for Vladimir, without a glass of cognac, without alcohol, an evening is lost. "My God, - at the thought pierced her nervousness, - how tired I am of all these communication processes!" Disgust for the interlocutor grew, increasing to the size of a huge lump that blocked breathing in the throat, this lump did not decrease with each sip of wine, but increased more and more. At the same time, it became even more difficult to breathe, as if the flow of oxygen was blocked, feeling that he was about to suffocate. "
To her delight, due to limited funds, not everything in the capital was available only for money, and Saturday meetings at the Central House of Writers were such an exception, a kind of outlet, a breath of fresh air that she could breathe with pleasure. “Who is this genius who made it possible to find a way out into this environment, such a young man, the creator of a prosaic website. Being a genius does not mean being a wise scientist, wiping his next pants in the office, well, yes ... his business trips, even if at least sometimes he flies away to air his moss, his decayingbrains.
“Volodya, I see you are two-faced,” she asked during the so-called kitchen banquet, “why did you invite me, if you are a born henpecked. You don't need to pretend, "she said," I realized long ago that you don't need anyone other than Camilla's family! "
He sat quietly, drank brandy, leaning his hand on the table, raising his head, silently stroking his eyes, hiding his thoughts inside, his "black box". And as it seemed to her now, he looked at her as at a "brainless" doll, with the gaze of a child looking at a beautiful doll.
- It's funny, I, as a naive woman, very simply "opened my ears", didn't you offer me your help in solving my affairs, but what really is? His silence only sprayed her even more, counting him as if he ignored her opinion. - I see that initially you did not have such a desire, this is me about support, or maybe remember what trips you talked about?
You sang songs to me about what purchases in Italy you sang to me, but in practice I cannot buy myself basic things, even in those stores where they hold huge discounts, I go there mainly as a museum, I have only one opportunity there, to view the goods in the windows !
- I just hoped that you would make friends with my daughter and go with her for rags abroad. She thought: "He, what is he kidding?" - his speech was unhurried and at the same time balanced, Lyudmila was also surprised that his every word seemed deliberate.
- It's okay that you think so, you think that I can humiliate myself in front of her, do you mind, yes, if I start serving her as a servant and housekeeper? I wonder how, how interesting? How did you help me with my problems? - She said condescendingly so that I could travel, have you really forgotten that until this issue is resolved, I will not be allowed across the border ... Who am I, what do you think, for whom do you take me, for whom?
- I will not hide, I "gusal", I lied, but not quite - yes, this is not quite an offer of a hand, a heart; - He looked her straight in the eyes, - Yes, I wanted a beautiful southerner to move and live with me, - at that moment, sitting alone with him at the table, she felt that he did not just say, his words hurt her pride - cruelly - and at that very moment, when he reached the state of intoxication, he became frank.
"This happened to him more than once, in twenty minutes he will forget everything that, at the moment of clouding his mind, he openly and without a twinge of conscience threw in my face before returning to his normal state." Soon he forgot what he had told me, concluding: - Due to my age, I have little chance of finding a young interesting girl.
- Yes, the phrase about the role of the hostess in the "bachelor apartment" sounded beautiful, - contemptuously looking at him, pulling away. - Having moved to another city to a person much older than me - instead of the promised help in solving my problems, - she fell silent for a moment, remembering the evening when he promised to help her, - I just could not imagine that you prepared such surprises. .. as it turns out, you thought I was a child or some kind of abnormal woman? - the question hung in the air: "silence is a sign of consent, but what else ...".
In the evening there was a useless conversation, but in the morning Lyudmila pulled herself together.
Without losing hope, Lyudmila continued her job search, answering all suitable vacancies offered by the agencies, and also continued to search through advertisements on various sites.
Not for the first time, after filling out a questionnaire and choosing vacancies in the magazine, Lyudmila was waiting for a connection with the agency's manager. Before the interview
she flagged the vacancies in columns on the pages, a common procedure when scheduling an interview with an employer. The agency could enter into a cooperation agreement, but initially they offered contracts for a month or two weeks.
But then came the long-awaited invitation for an interview. On the day of the interview, a significant number of applicants gathered at the agency, most of them from the “former” Ukraine. “It’s interesting,” noting the experience of work in this profession for more than ten years, “how did they manage to get such experience there, in the former Soviet republic, in the union of the republics of the former USSR? In the state, which recently lived in an era of equal rights for workers? "
Among those invited to the interview, Lyudmila saw other applicants dressed in all kinds of outfits; and in a modest pedagogical style, probably those women who come to the agency for the first time. "There is a real show of models, a costumed masquerade of governesses and nannies."
From the reception room, candidates take turns moving to the next room, later, in the presence of the manager, communication with the employer takes place; usually the child's parents or family attorney.
Usually, these were issues related to professional skills, but often they affected personal life, this also related to the composition of the family. In such cases, Lyudmila had to tell them about Volodya, portraying him as an intelligent person, relations with whom are based on mutual understanding and respect with a perspective for the future, not forgetting to mention his presidential awards.
In conclusion, explaining that they are temporarily in a civil marriage; for reasons related to the imminent purchase of real estate. And how could she, and could she declare or publicly declare that everyone would laugh at her at once, say that at present she is just "the kept woman of some old eccentric, with the letter M"?
Express interviews with candidates are held at the agency on Tverskaya from eleven in the morning until nineteen in the evening. During this time, before hiring candidates for domestic staff, managers gathered applicants in the lobby of the agency in groups of six, after which they were invited to a separate room for interviews with employers.
During this familiarization with candidates for domestic staff positions such as nannies, governesses, and housekeepers, employers could talk about things that were absolutely unnecessary. They often bored them with meaningless questions that had absolutely nothing to do with this service sector.
Morally exhausting interviews took up a lot of time for applicants waiting in line in the agency lobby on sofas and chairs. Once, at one of these interviews, where Lyudmila was, two elegantly dressed ladies - employers - came.
It seemed that the women came to the interview at the agency for certain reasons - one of them needed a governess to work in the family. But instead of asking about the experience of working with children, about the age of previously trained children, about the education of the governess, employers constantly attacked: they were constantly interested in some strange questions, and they did not concern classes with children. Was it like testing applicants for stress resistance? Was the choice of the broker or the interrogation based on the "bad cop" principle?
“How many more will they torture her,” thought Luda, “at some point she just wanted to interrupt an incomprehensible express interview, which was completely remote in meaning and had nothing to do with the activities of the governess; especially about films - in her opinion, the question is completely inappropriate.
It seemed that now the employers were most interested in the question: "Does the governess like to watch TV series?" If so, they can ask about it directly. The answer would have sounded unambiguous - while working, I do not watch films, especially TV shows, neither Brazilian nor any others. " to watch series?" If so, they can ask about it directly. The answer will be unequivocal - while working, I do not watch films, especially TV shows, neither Brazilian nor any others. "
- Who, in your opinion, of the actors is the most brilliant in our country?
- Alisa Freundlich. In which famous films did the actress star in?
- I don’t remember - “what is happening, - Lyudmila did not understand, - her brains, as she began to think, were going into a“ stupor ”- this feeling is like with the situation on the exam, when you know, but for some reason at this moment you are not able to answer ". And oddly enough, the question in essence turned out to be asked at the very end:
- What children's teaching methods are you familiar with?
Lyudmila looked at the women: "I wonder which one is the mother?" One of those sitting in front of the table looked more like a Buryat woman with a Mongoloid face and a "bob" haircut, and the second woman, her friend, looked like a brown-haired woman, with her hair classically collected in a hairstyle, in the form of a round ball at the back of her head.
"When will the interrogation of these two anomalies end?" - she thought, watching that their mouths did not close for a minute; “Looking into her eyes,” the women did not calm down, increasing the flow of questions that could be successfully asked to the players of the TV show; with a subsequent increase in speed, -“It's good that before coming here I visited the Kitaygorodsky shopping center. Having bought a shiny bracelet there and using the opportunity to change, I changed my shirt in a light cage to a tunic with the image of the morning ocean "- now it became easier for her, and not only because shopping relieves nervousness, imagining the image of a beautiful ocean, she mentally ventilated her brain, thinking about a light, refreshing breeze.
Indeed, when they tried to “eat” her, instead they had to “eat with their eyes” the painted tunic and contemplate the gilding of the bracelet, these two women tired her. They tried to look into her pupils, but, fortunately, the image on the tunic distracted these two "abnormal", apparently lesbians, drawing the attention of these "witches" to the pattern depicting the morning ocean.
and the shine of the bracelets. And what are they doing here - hypnotizing? She wondered. "
As time went on, those gathered at the registry waited for the results of the selection of a candidate for the family. Some governess tried to leave, but at the request of the manager
she still had to stay.
By the end of the third hour, among the other candidates who were just about to be interviewed, there was a woman who had already passed the interview and was waiting for the result. Waiting in the hall for the results, she frankly admitted that she did not hide from employers her complete ignorance of the methodology for teaching preschoolers.
An amazing result was soon announced: out of eight candidates for the vacancy of the governess
a contract was signed with a candidate who is not familiar with the preschool education methodology.
And as it turned out in the end, she lives not far from the dacha of these women who came to the agency to
hire domestic staff for the child. "Why invite so many people here, wasting time, when the agency's profile contains information about the place of residence of each of their candidates?" - Lyudmila was perplexed.
But, what was her surprise when, during the announcement of the actress of the year on the TV channel culture, the phrase sounded: Alisa Freundlich became the actress of the year. “Maybe they came to the agency not to hire a governess for a child, but to find out her opinion:“ Who should I nominate for the award? ”
However, without a successful interview, there is no job offer. The first days in these families begin with trial days. The manager must agree on the payment for each trial day - due to the fact that the agency does not charge a fee for trial days, no one can be sure how the contact will go, this is under the manager's control. But this is not always the case, often the manager actually flirts with employers who either do not know about the need to pay for trial days, or make a deal with the manager.
In the position of domestic staff, job seekers often have to figure things out for themselves, many of whom work like the character of the fairy tale "Papo Carlo". “Considering the attitude towards hired personnel, it is not surprising that you do not expect anything normal from such heads of the agency,” thought Lyudmila, waiting for the second hour when she would be invited.
Moreover, when the human factor is not taken into account, speaking of hiring employees. As you know, the organization of personnel activities includes points: from the correct selection of personnel, the setting of specific tasks, coordination of efforts for a more effective solution of the tasks and the definition of duties and responsibilities of employees.
What would the developers of modern management theory Henri and Marie Fayolle say if they noticed such an attitude towards personnel? According to this theory: "... Wages should be fair and, if possible, satisfy both the staff, and the organization, and the employer, and the employee ...", - she reflected on the way, following to Vladimir's apartment. Lyudmila, - had a higher education, specializing in financial management, she was well versed in organizational issues.
She also faced a situation where her prediction, the employer's warning about the work of an unscrupulous cook, where she was invited as a governess, eventually came true, but hurt the employer's self-esteem. It is difficult for people with higher education to work in the field of personnel services, since their foresight is negatively reflected in a number of situations, which, first of all, hurts the pride of the employer; who has only one desire in his head to demonstrate his status - who is the boss in the house, why does he need advice from employees who graduated from Moscow State University. named after M.V. Lomonosov?
And again, or by a strange coincidence, when choosing a candidate for the position of governess, the same employer, after a certain time, chooses her - Lyudmila. Why? She had to ask this question to the manager of the Tver agency, a previous request for payment of several days, in which she worked for this particular employer, remained unsuccessful. Nevertheless, Lyudmila did not understand why the manager invited her for an interview with the same employer?
What is the reason, does the agency take into account the zodiacal factor, a person for a particular family with zodiac signs of the staff. Lyudmila has a great sign for this profession – Cancer, a person born under this sign, is very homely, loves children and comfort, he is in conditions corresponding to financial well-being, if the cancer goes away, this is a signal that cancer is becoming uncomfortable, which means, somewhere in the near future, there are reasons that do not satisfy this sign. At the reception she was met by a girl from Ukraine.
“When I was at her house on Krasnaya Gorka,” she turned, talking about the very employer with whom Lyudmila did not work out, “she did not pay me for three days with an overnight stay. Or they just like to use us. This "Be ... Mor" directs people to work with children, the governess often works more than one full day, and all for thanks.
Two weeks later, the same mother who does not pay for the working hours but has to pay the candidates for their work. So she conspired deliberately. Together with the manager, when different people come to them, they choose this or that employee and try not to pay, what a big money saving.
After a week of searching various agencies, Sunday came. On Saturday afternoon, Vladimir Arnoldovich said that he needed to go to a colleague. After Lyudmila washed the dishes in the kitchen, she went to the closet, took out a tracksuit, a dark jacket with a smooth collar, with zippers on the cuffs. Then she zipped up the front of her jacket and dressed. ...
In the corridor, she put her feet into ankle boots, put them on, waited for Vladimir to put on his shoes, handed him the keys to the apartment, then they went down the elevator, heading to visit their colleague Vladimir.
She took off her outer clothing in the corridor, proceeded to the lair of the so-called bachelor, if you do not take into account his frequent visits to his mistress, Alevtina. The owner, Vladimir's namesake, was located opposite the computer desk. Lyudmila sat down on a soft sofa and looked at the pictures with interest; here is a half-naked woman in watercolor, and this is not surprising, knowing the sexuality of Vladimir, and next to him is a pencil drawing of the Eiffel Tower and a view of the Champs Elysees in Paris.
- This is from trips, do you like it? - he said so simply, so obviously that at that moment it seemed that he was ready to eat her with a glance, understanding him at first sight, knowing that the most sexual thoughts are boiling in the head of this man sitting opposite her, she replied:
- Yes ... - Lyudmila drawled, returning her thoughts to everything that led her to the impossibility of leaving the country, the reason for this was a past relationship. Relationship with a person with whom she was familiar even before Vladimir: “Paris, how far is he from me? If I am tied by problems, all because of "all-consuming unselfish love", but, as it seems to me, only from my side.
How I wanted to have a personal life with him, I so wanted ...
She strove as the hero of Miguel de Cervantes' novel Don Quixote, she fought for the inheritance. Now thinking about it, it annoys her, it painful memory.
How many sleepless nights she spent writing letters to various instances, to the prosecutor's office, to the police, how much evidence she collected for the court, judges who simply crumpled it up, not looking at the expressions on their faces.
Only money is accepted there, confirmation of correctness in banks is not accepted. Here and now ... And besides,
She is forced to watch the tricks of the "stingy koshchei", but life goes on ... ".
- I can offer you several books.
- Is there poetry here? - Lyudmila's eyes lit up, she could not hide the unexpected change in mood, interest, sympathy for creative people.
- Yes, a chronicle of days in verse.
Lyudmila opened them, after reading the author of the Jewish surname, she thought - maybe there is a poet in front of her and he is published under a pseudonym.
- How do you like it?
- The style is close, similar to how Mandelstam wrote, but not entirely, it is somewhat different, - shifting her gaze from the book to its owner, she read admiration in the gaze of the possible author of the book, colleague Vladimir. What could not remain unnoticed from the observant gaze of Vladimir Arnoldovich, as if trying to attract attention to himself, he interrupted the dialogue:
- Volodya, did you promise a flash drive?
- Look, check again.
All the same attentive eyes, the gaze of his eyes in the desire to bare her. And again Lyudmila felt uncomfortable, she straightened her hair, looked at the dark furniture along the walls. Next to her was a coffee table with tax returns.
The owner, noticing where Lyudmila was looking, said:
- Ah ... ah ... it was I who filled out the tax deduction, you know, when part of the funds for tuition fees and medical treatment is returned to you.
- For example, Vladimir's monthly income is about one hundred, one hundred thousand. He, in case of payment for his operations, can return part of the costs.
- Not. I do not have a hundred, but less.
- What you said? Not a hundred? You have not a hundred, but much more, if you take into account your bonuses, travel allowances and plus the thirteenth salary.
- Yes? - Ludmila was surprised.
- Well, it's time for us, - Vladimir hastened, - I looked at everything, thanks, - rubbing the thinning hair covering of the head, added, - I'll bring the flash drive, I think in two days.
- Okay, I'll take you to the exit. In the corridor, he helped Lyudmila get dressed while her companion was buttoning up her jacket, on which the zipper was poorly fastened: "No wonder you're an old curmudgeon, so this is what the real situation looks like ..."
Leaving the front door, she clarified:
- What conclusions will be when you have not a small income, but only that I cannot send my daughter an extra thousand for the holiday? Do you remember how much we spent on our last trip to the store? But could my daughter afford that or just get by with a bottle of champagne or maybe chocolate?
- No, you misunderstood, my income is much lower.
- It's strange, especially when your colleague has another model of a new car, just listen to yourself, what are you babbling about?
- It's good that you want from me, let's go, walk to where there is an ATM on the corner, send money to your daughter, I’m with a card.
- No, you misunderstood, my income is much lower.
- It's strange, especially when your colleague has another model of a new car, just listen to yourself, what are you babbling about?
- It's good that you want from me, let's go, walk to where there is an ATM on the corner, send money to your daughter, I’m with a card.
And for some reason, during one of her daughter's visits last year, when she met a boy with bad inclinations, this relationship of her daughter seriously worried her as a mother. Lyudmila persuaded her to stay at home and forget about him. The book, which she accidentally found in her daughter's bag, turned out to be a highly publicized novel and everything about loneliness and, moreover, the most unnatural calls for suicide and waste in relationships. One must part with such literature, so as not to read such advertised nonsense, she quickly threw all this nonsense into the trash; Indeed, the daughter has such a depression, a dangerous mood with a poor nervous state of a person, how can this be reflected in combination with such a "reading of horror", according to Lyudmila, the same result as Yanush's - throwing himself under the wheels of a passing train, which ends his book , because of what, because of the problems that are sucked from the finger? "
Indeed, Volodya did not know about this, although what can one say about him as a person if his attitude towards her is ostentatious or dismissive of her problems, towards her family?
And although no, everything was wrong with his daughter, although he knows and, despite this, tried to "rub all sorts of nonsense into me." I know what caused his daughter's disability, assuming it was an accident. When I know the details about her from her mother, Camilla's mother, what really happened to her ... to this hysterical, unbalanced daughter of his.
Lyudmila knew poor mother well, a woman who at that time was caring for Camilla, literally lifting her daughter out of bed. Lyudmila thought about the deceased woman, whom her daughter “thanked” for everything that had happened by the fact that two years before her death she stopped communicating with her mother.
It seems that everything happened because of money, Camilla always lacked them. Then she returned to the previous line of interrupted thoughts; this daughter of his threw herself from the balcony, but by a miracle she managed to survive.