Michal Sanych
A year ago, I had the honor to meet an English bum from Liverpool. Strange as it may seem, he roamed in the Moscow region. From Russian I knew only one word and that was obscene - but in all declensions and cases. The first hour we communicated by declining this word + gestures. Then I remembered the school reserve - 30 words, like Ellochka the Ogre. He often came to me in winter to warm up, and we understood very well who was saying what. When he was deported, I felt that there was no one to even speak English with.
An English bum brought by a friend of mine. There was money - there was love. And then she kicked him in the ass, and into the street. He lived with my friends, spent the winter in the garage, spent the night in a convenience store - and the saleswomen are not afraid or bored ...
The most interesting thing is that he did not want to return home. He liked living in the Moscow region. He wanted to learn Russian, and everyone spoke to him in broken English. He said - England is bad - England little - people manie - ol stop. Which meant England is small - there are many people - and all are fools. He said that he did not want to live in England - only in Russia, or in Mexico. In general, he - Clive - is a former biker. He said that his friend had a Harley Davidson, and Clive himself had a motorcycle Favorite!
Imagine, I bought Clive an English-Russian phrasebook. He read, says:
- There is a mistake ...
- How so? - I ask ...
- Written - No, of course, I do not agree ... - So YES? NOT? SURE? or DO NOT AGREE?
Clive was very surprised why we have a dollar in the suburbs of Marlborough, and four dollars in England? I say: "This Marlboro is done in Mytishchi." A sea of ;;surprise: "And Napoleon cognac in Mytishy?" - "Yeah in Mytishchi"
I show him "made in gonkong - Mytishchi, Sovetskaya str. 24" ... So we found out where Hong Kong is!
Here comes a fifteen-year-old girl - my student.
- An Englishman? I will talk to him -
And laid out all my knowledge of English:
- I love you! Ay wonch yu! Ay nid yu!
The Englishman blushed. And the girl is at a loss:
- What did I say ???