474.
It seems I eventually discovered the main source of the contradiction I mentioned in previous notes. To focus my attention on health and cease all learning activity, I first have to stop my active learning. And this means I have to stop my writing and self-talk. Everything else follows. My winter’s great development was possible, perhaps, only because of no journaling. Although I did lots of other works and recorded my daily self-talks, the fact that I did not have to write every day was crucial. I mean the last time when I had a kind of similar development was in 2014. Three months of total abstaining is something that I haven’t seen for years. What if I can’t move on because of that? What if I need to stop all sorts of linguistic works to get ahead?
Fair enough. I can maintain my health and the given course of self-development without reflecting on everything that I’m doing every day. So is this a kind of shadow work? To go into the unknown without a lamp and look at what I may find there? By the way, I can always come back to writing and other stuff. Now, the aim is to become healthy. What’s mater if I can write and think while being incessantly sick? Well, see you later…
To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
See me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC43fwC5DpfaJi3wGQO5b_ZA?