Cast of Characters
VAVERKA: a squirell
SQUIRELL: a squirell
ACT I Scene 1
On the scene are two different houses: on the
right is a small wooden house. A small garden near
the house- a well arranged garden, the simple
wooden fence around, on the fence some pottery.
At the right of the house, a bit behind - two
sheds - one small and one medium.A very nice vivid
picture.
On the left is a big county modern cottage, in
western style, type of rancho. Near an imitation
of tractor, combine, some cows, horses, pigs,
decorations of sheds. It looks much richer.
Morning. Sounds of cocks, the sun rises. SQUIRREL
comes out of the cottage, looks at the sun,
smiles. Dressed as a cowboy: a hat, boots, check
shirt, jeans. Yawns. Looks in the direction of the
small house, satisfied (thinks that she has woken
up first).
A cheerful cowbow song sounds. Squirrel walks
around the house, pleased, dancing sort of a
cowboy dance.
Approaches tractor, sits inside. We hear the sound
of tractor. Imitates driving the tractor. The song
goes on. Squirrel smiles.
At this moment we see VAVERKA coming from behind
the small wooden house. First we see her face.
Looks at Squirrel. Then we see the whole Vaverka,
with a reaping hook and a bunch of corn. Another
cheerful folk song sounds. " "
Vaverka smiles very cheerfully. Squirrel notices
Vaverka, grumbles. Presses some button- there’s a
cowboy song, sounds much louder. Vaverka grumbles,
waves the reaping hook. A folk song sounds again.
Squirrel presses the button - and there’s again a
cowboy song. This sort of competance lasts for a
while. Then squirrel comes down from her tractor,
approaches the fence, her cowboy song sounds loud.
She starts dancing round and round cockily.
Vaverka comes out. The folk song sounds again.
Vaverka dances happily the folk dance, with the
reaping hook.
Then Squirrel turns on her song, she dances.
Then again Vaverka’s song.
This repeats for three times.
The music stops.
SQUIRREL
Good morning, dear Vaverka!
VAVERKA
Hello, my dear neighbour!
SQUIRREL
I see you are going for a walk. I woke up at the dawn
oday,I have plown up several beds with the tractor.
VAVERKA
I have already done, the whole field.
(waves the reaping hooK)
and I have fed the animals.
SQUIRREL
Ha! Your whole field is like one my plant bed. And as
for the animals - I’ve never seen any.
VAVERKA
That’s a secret. I’m not showing it to everyone.
SQUIRREL
You just don’t have any, that’s all!
VAVERKA
I have!
SQUIRREL
You don’t have!
VAVERKA
Yes, I do.
SQUIRREL
I do have cows, horses, pigs, chicken, everything! What
do you have?
VAVERKA
I won’t say that. That’s a secret.
SQUIRREL
That’s just because you have nothing.
a cheerful song sounds. Squirrel walks back to her
tractor.
(laughs)
Vaverka walks to her house, puts the reaper hook
at the place, yawns, enters the house. We see a
typical wooden small house in a folk style: a bed,
with a colourful blanket, some pillows, a table,
an oven, some ceramic pottery, clock on the wall,
Vaverka’s portrait. Vaverka drinks milk from the
pot on the table, after that she has sort of milk
moustache. Smiles. Goes to bed. Snores and sniffs.
This moment Squirrel takes out a spy-glass and
looks in the direction of Vaverka’s house. Vaverka
snores very loud. The light slowly turns off.
Scene 2
The light is on. It’s evening. Squirrel still
sitting in the tractor with spy-glass. Vaverka
snores out loud. The cuckoo clock alert,Vaverka
wakes up, pours in a small cup of milk for the
cuckoo bird, then drinks some milk, she’s got the
milk mousache again. Comes out from the house.
Squirrel hides the spy-glass, pretends to be
working very hard.
Vaverka goes to the shed. Opens the door of the
small shed. Takes out a small pot. Fills it with
corn. Squirrel observes it with interest through
the spy-glass. Vaverka opens the medium shed.
Squirrel rises a bit on her tractor, to see it.
Vaverka takes a chicken from the shed and feeds
it. Puts the pot in front of the chicken.
Squirrel falls down from the tractor on the
ground, with much sound.
Vaverka takes out the field glass. Looks at
Squirrel. Smiles. Squirrel is on the ground. Gives
the field glass to the chicken to take a look.
Takes it back and looks herself.
Squirrel rises and walks to the fence.
SQUIRREL
My dear neighbor, is this your animal? One chicken? You
have only one chicken?
(to the audience )
Dear children, have you ever been to your
grand-parents?
AUDIENCE ...
SQUIRREL
Have you seen the animals at their farms?
AUDIENCE ...
SQUIRREL
Was it one chicken?
AUDIENCE ...
SQUIRREL
Who has only one chicken? Who? Vaverka? Vaverka has one
chicken.
(to Vaverka)
Now I see why you quickly do your work: one plant-bed
and one chicken.
VAVERKA
One good bed and one good chicken. One good bed can
bring more vegetables than ten bad beds. One good
animal is better than many poor animals.
SQUIRREL
She thinks she is clever.
VAVERKA
Of course. Yes, I am. My chicken is very good.
SQUIRREL
In what it is so good? What can it do better than all
the other chicken in this world?
VAVERKA
It’s a secret.
SQUIRREL
A secret? Again? I have seen your first secret.
(smiles pointing at the chicken)
Now I can only guess what is the second one. What does
it do, your chicken? What kind of eggs does it lay?
Chocolate ones? Kinder surprise perhaps?
VAVERKA
It’s a secret.
SQUIRREL
(to the audience)
Children, how do you think, what kind of eggs does
Vaverka’s chicken lay?
AUDIENCE ...
Squirrel repeats the answers of the children,
makes some fun, improvisation.
SQUIRREL
Let’s play a game. The one who guesses what kind of
eggs this chicken lays, will get a prise
(to Vaverka)
So, what kind of eggs does your chicken lay?
VAVERKA
This is a secret. This is my chicken and this is my
secret.
Vaverka pushes the chicken back to the shed,
togeher with the pot and walks to her house,
drinks some milk, undresses, stays in her cheerful
pyjamas, stretches and yawns, makes some yoga
exercises. Meanwhile Squirrel climbs up the
tractor and spies on Vaverka. Vaverka finishes her
exercises and goes to bed. Starts snoring.
Squirrel spies on her for a while. Vaverka snores
louder and louder. The light in Vaverka’s house is
slowly off. Squirrel gets down from the the
tractor and walks to the center of the stage.
SQUIRREL
(to the audience)
Sleeping, a sly fox! She doesn’t want to tell us her
secret! So let’s find it out ourselves!
Squirrel walks towards Vaverka’s garden, enters,
goes towards the shed.
SQUIRREL (cont’d)
(to the audience)
The chicken is inside! It’s sleeping too. The secret is
also inside. So, all I need to do is enter inside and
discover the secret.
(Walks to the door,stops near the door.)
Inside. I just need to open the door. I just need to
open the lock.
the door. )
But here’s no lock. It’s impossible. When you are
hiding a secret, you always close the door with a
lock.It must be a secret lock here. A special code. A
special strategy.
(Squirrel touches the door, walking
around the shed, looking for a secret
lock everywhere. )
(to the audience)
Children,how do you think this door opens? Where is the
secret lock? Or maybe you know the secret code? Or a
secret magic word?
AUDIENCE ...
SQUIRREL continues examining he shed, walks by
accident on the pot, the pot falls down with much
noise. Squirrel falls down too. Much noise again.
The light turns on in Vaverka’s house. The door
opens. Vaverka appears in her nice pyjamas, a
sleeping cap, with a gun. Shoots several times.
VAVERKA
Who is it? Would you raise your hands please?
(in a nice voice)
SQUIRREL
Don’t shoot. That’s me.
VAVERKA
What are you doing in my garden at night? It’s not
polite to walk around other people’s gardens at night
without permission.
SQUIRREL
I was just walking by.
VAVERKA
So much by that you almost entered my house.
SQUIRREL
I was mistaken by the door.
VAVERKA
You’re a liar. And it’s not nice to lie.
(to the children)
Children, lying is bad, isn’t it?
(to Squirrel)
You deserve a punishment for entering other’s territory
without permission. And for lying.
SQUIRREL
I only wanted to find out your secret. The secret of
your chicken.
VAVERKA
Here she is! Madam I take what I want! It’s my chicken!
It’s my secret! And it’s her secret too! I can’t say
it! If I say it, it will not be a secret any more.
Isn’t it?
(raising)
(to the children)
Dear children, can you tell to me please, if it is good
to say anyone’s secret to anyone?
AUDIENCE not
VAVERKA
You are good children! If you continue to be good like
this may be I will reveal my chicken’s secret to you.
Of course, I will ask her because I don’t have any
right to do it without her permission.
SQUIRREL
Are you crazy? Who asks a chicken for permission?
VAVERKA
I do
SQUIRREL
(to the children)
She is crazy, dear children. Who asks chicken for
anything? Who asks chicken for permission?
(make a gesture with her finger at her
temple)
Only crazy people like her ask chicken for permission!
VAVERKA
I am good and polite and I respect human rights and
chicken rights too. Every good person respects the
rights of others. Every good animal respects the rights
of other animals. It doesn’t matter it is a chicken or
a lion
SQUIRREL
You are really funny. We all know that a Lion is a king
of the all animals
VAVERKA
You think? I don’t know anything about that.
SQUIRREL
We all know it
VAVERKA
I don’t know that. You know, what I know?
SQUIRREL
nothing at all, I suppose
(laughing)
VAVERKA
I know that it’s night now and I should sleep. And it’s
my territory and you shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t
take nor my time, nor my nerves, nor my health, nor my
space.
(pointing her gun to SGUIRREL)
What I know well is also that it’s not good to take
anything that doesn’t belong to you. And what I know
very well is that I cam shoot very well
SQUIRREL
You can’t. You have a terrible aim
VAVERKA
I have a terrible aim, and I have a terrible gun.
(VAVERKA aims but does nothing)
SQUIRREL
You can’t. You never could. You are coward.
VAVERKA
That’s even more reason for me to pull the trigger.
(VAVERKA pulls the trigger, shoots. She touches
Squirrel’s ass.
Squirrel cries in pain. )
SQUIRREL
A-A-A! Are you crazy?!
VAVERKA
No, I am not! See, pretty one, I can shoot, too.
(VAVERKA shoots some times, every time she touches
Squirrel’s ass.
Squirrel cries, starts to jump)
SQUIRREL
A-A-A. You are a monster! You are crazy! You will pay
me!
VAVERKA
Go away from my garden! And take yourself out from my
chicken.
(VAVERKA continues to shoot, Squirrel runs away to
her house crying and holding her ass by her hands.
She reaches her house, enters.
(laughing)
VAVERKA smiles.)
VAVERKA (cont’d)
(to the children)
Don’t be afraid. It’s not real bullets. It just hurts a
little bit.
(laughing)
And of course, she couldn’t sit down some days. A good
punishement for these who try to steal from others and
who wants to take that doesn’t belong to him. May be
she will learn now who to come at night at others
gardens and try to steal others secrets.
(SQUIRELL leads out from the door. Vaverka aims,
shoots, SQUIRELL disapears.
Vaverka smiles, then yawns)
It’s very late. I must be sleeping now. Good night! If
she appears, you let me know! I count on you!
(VAVERKA goes inside, puts her gun near the bed,
drinks some milk, goes to bed, starts snoring.
The light in Vaverka’s house is slowly off.
The light on the stage is slowly off.)
THE END OF THE FIRST ACT