Íîâàÿ êíèãà - Just Fiction Edition (2020-01-23) - ISBN-13: 978-620-0-48882-4
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Special woman, or dead hand
The incredible adventures of the first Android type of person
Ôàíòàñòèêà, Ôýíòåçè
JustFiction Edition (2020-01-23) - ISBN-13: 978-620-0-48882-4
Dedicated to Villiers de l'isle Adam author of the novel "l'Eve future" about the ideal woman, named by him
Android
- What must your special woman look like?
- It`s my woman!
Characters
Supreme Rulers of the planet: President of the World Olabama, after a skin transplant from the fifth point, he looks like a youngster
Prezident war Frau Kalmar, a youngish woman in trousers, with a short haircut, from time to time waving his hands and whispers: "Dibs, dibs! Hande Hoh, asshole!".
The speaker of the Congress of the transition period, simply called Bobo, a brisk old man, is talkative, glibly swears in Russian and lies without batting an eye, on his back, closer to the coccyx, an alarm button, in case of right danger, immerses him in sleep; another button between the blades — remote control movement and speech, in front of his black glasses, rolled.
The doorman is Monsieur Pepo, nicknamed (written on the back) “Heroyam Sala”, he is in an old motorcycle riding suit, donated by President O'la-land.
Yaytsenyugh — messenger from another world, invisibly present before the mind's eye Frau, her everyday nightmare is outstretched hand of Yaytsenyuh.
Android - perfect woman of the future.
Lord Ewald Junior - is a miserable, suicidal Englishman, the victim of a love affair with a beautiful bourgeois woman by name Alicia K.,;but that soon turns to hatred.
Alicia K.;- the fine bourgeois with a down-to-earth nature.
Extras are depicted on numerous screens hanging over the stage - members of Congress, sitting on Skype, inflated soldiers, as well as freaks, cripples, inadequate and other victims of the war. Large on center the scene the writing:
POPROSHAINICHAT ZAPRISCHINO!
Prologue
Rulers world play in childish game, which them has taught Bobo. He shakes a limp hand Frau Kalmar, monotonously sentencing: "Inanimate hand, inanimate hand", then with shout "Babakh!" suddenly hits the hand of Frau on the nose of Olabama, that profusely bleeding, he whimpers:
Olabama: Again all my face spoiled, the bully with a temper nasty!
The doorman Pepo (brings a bowl, dunks the face of Olabama in the water): This is for Guantanamo, ablesyana Hawaiian!
Frau Kalmar: Guinean! Fool! (belligerently) Schmutzig Schwein! (beats Olabama punched in the head).
Monsieur Pepo: Again? Always there are heromants agreements violate!
Frau Kalmar (ironically): Oh-Oh-Oh. What all of themselves offended! I don't mean you. What stand as a stump? Let the boxer through the anus! Schnell! (Waving his hands.) Oh, my God! Hande Hoh! Let him there devour giblets in Ukrainian. Yatsenyuk? And let him go there too! (her cell phone rings, the melody of the call goes: "Deutschland, Deutschland, Hubert allies"; Frau spitefully says into the phone.) Go you to the anus, you are likes cutlet bits! The doorman will send you there.
However, Pope does not listen to her and plunges Alabama's head back into the basin. Saves it from flooding In.
Bobo: (pathos) Sirs and Fraud! Pardon... Sirs and Frau! It is not yet time for decisive action! Wait for the signal! (He feels the top button on his back and kicks the basin out of Pepo's hands with his left foot, breaking Olabama's lips in the process.)
Olabama (whimpers): I only Babakh wanted to listen to the, Fugue number ¹24. You always promise, and all's remarks lying.…
Bobo (fervently): Will for your fugue to a New Year, will the number 24, and the 25!
(He folds Frau's limp hand into a fig and holds it up to Alabama's nose.)
Alabama (whimpering): 25-th fugue there is no have Babakh! Candy Rass told me! Ay, you are bully, nasty... (He runs off in a corner, smearing blood all over pink cheeks, pulls from his pocket the little pink dumbbells and begins to nervously swing muscles.)
Bobo: Evoked the last year's snow! Candy taught you Russian from Dostoevsky as well? Listen here, lousy democrat, will you and 24-I, and 25-I ... this ... Fig ... Fugue... Recognize now! (He presses the top button on his back. Behind the stage you can hear the sounds of breaking dishes.)
Frau Kalmar (with satisfaction): Wundeba! Olabama (gloatingly): Again on its cuisine please! To his wife Milky gift for the holiday! (Giggle.)
Frau Kallmar (becoming more and more animated): Zum nehsten mal wir alen ... machen ... besser! (Slaps Bobo on the back - on the one bottom and then on the top button. There is a series of deafening explosions. Lights go out. In the dark Olabama whispers timidly)
Olabama: Bobo ... himself something as? Ready already?
Bobo: What?
Olabama: Are you ready to confess already?
Bobo (hisses): And you made?
Olabama (pathos): Long live God! Hahay-hi! I thought I'd give you a Christmas present. There is no, not worry, nothing worthwhile, simply somewhat junk remained from Edison, was have us in Amerigo Vespucci such crazy, can you be appropriate, and the hangs on balance without affairs, pity even. What do you say? Well, if you want, you can pay one back to avoid suspicion of the corruption. Yeah chance to buy back... but not rustling you bills, pleas, here the walls have ears... Let's change... And I am a cash need, for phone call. It`s go? Wait.
Bobo (whistles): Wait for the answer, like a Nightingale of summer. What are you not presenting?
Olabama: You are as a baby. I have to count the cash myself. What if it's fake? And to me it is necessary!
Bobo: So, what do you need, a quarter? And what ahead of time not stocked up?
Olabama: Yes, I stocked up, but Monsieur Pepo, as will take clothes to the dry cleaners, so all the pockets will be cleaned. And Frau Kalmar takes loans in the quarters, yesterday I hid the last one in the boot, so she lay at my feet until took off my shoes. She promised to repay her debt in the morning tomorrow, gave her word of honor as a pioneer… Yes! She gave a promised and give honest pioneer she was given! And the quarters she still did not give me… But gave me a stamp only… She's got a suitcase full of it. But why? Of the letter I am not write, I wanted to call from phone-automaton. All commies, you such... Oh! Is there a phone I might use to? (whimpers).
Bobo (thoughtfully): Come on. Okay. It would have been worse if she had shod you, that is, deceived you...
Olabama: How is that okay? How am I going to call Mishka?
Bobo: You'll send a pigeon, that means in Russia – golubey.
Olabama: There are no pigeons! (goes away singing): There are no pigeons, there are no anything golubey…
Act 1
Bobo: (pacing to and fro, sing) There the luminous flowers bloomed, the blue irises sparkled with drops. frogs fed on herons, and here we very happy with you, tell me modicum word you! I wish you could have heard me sing… Oh, you cannot sing the praises of older men. (turns to face) I think I deserve a modicum of respect, and modicum of torture words don't fully describe. Have you heard of me? Other people must have heard some of it, too.
The action takes place twenty-five miles from New York city, in a house surrounded by a deserted Park, its facade facing a green meadow crossed by sandy paths, on the other side of which stands a lonely building, a kind of pavilion. It is now home to Bobo who received a gift from Olabama, Edison`s laboratory, and with it – Android, Eve of the 21st century. Bobo looks good. He looked even younger than he did when we first saw him. Now he looks 42 years old. A few years ago, his appearance was strikingly similar to that of BBP, the last President of Russia. However, this is the same man, but now he is transformed into a great scientist: his face, when compared with the images on the ancient artifacts, is a living embodiment of Archimedes from the Syracuse medal.
Recall that some time ago, a gloomy autumn evening, about five o'clock in the afternoon, Bobo blew up the planet on a nervous basis. Unfortunately, on that fateful occasion, the magician and wizard, the homegrown ruler of mankind, made a Big Bang with a nuclear warhead not in his armored kitchen, as it usually happened, but only slightly missed, it landed on the wide expanses of his own homeland, resulting in half the planet was gone, from a flowering garden it turned into a desert covered with terrible craters and volcanoes. On the surviving half of the planet, Bobo got a preferential visa at the above address. Slightly deafened by the blast wave, this new Beethoven and Bach of science managed to create a device that, when applied to the auditory orifice, not only compensates for deafness, but also sharpens the hearing, opening the possibility of subtle perception as well…
So, Bobo sits in one of the far rooms of the laboratory in the pavilion in front of the mansion, he fired all of his assistants, in whose silence was not sure. In the legendary black silk dressing-gown of Edison himself, with his aluminum eyes fixed on the distance, he sits with his feet on the table, a Havana cigar between his teeth; he does not usually smoke, for the tobacco smoke is conducive to reflections that distract him from the daring designs of the concrete conquest of the second half of the world. In his eyes sparkles the indomitable spirit of domination of a higher civilization, accustomed to find pleasure in the suffering of others. He had got rid of the old master's furniture, and was glad that he now had enough to spare himself the importunities of visiting foreigners. They rarely bought anything here, but their visits took a lot of time.
Now Bobo is immersed in a state close to a trance. From East-facing window, like he likes, a thick fog stretches, filling the room with a light haze - in same haze the outlines like empty molds waiting to be filled of various kinds of piled up on the tables of mechanisms, gadgets, as well as giant magnets, vessels, flasks, bottles, boards, covered with formulas and calculations. But you should see what piles up in the corners of his heart! (For example: While the bomb is sinking below the lava about 45 minutes...) At that moment he sees the sun sinking below the horizon, penetrating the array of pines and maples on the picturesque hills of new Jersey and illuminates the room with flashes of lightning; it begins to seem as if there is blood everywhere, but this does not spoil the mood of Bobo — these blood-red reflections, obtained from clumps of light, like old rust, seemed something frozen for centuries, a posthumous obelisk even... Despite the sparse graying hairs, there is in his face something childishly naive-defiant, although by nature he is rather a skeptic. Bodo invents now nonstop - ideas, one more stunning than the other, germinate in him like a grain on a fat Ukrainian arable land, but he has not yet forgotten all his defeats and missteps, and therefore with ordinary people keeps emphatically cold.
He smiles now only a miserly smile, characteristic of all successful Yankees, it clearly says: "I have achieved everything myself, strive and you, you will succeed." Being a positive person, he recognizes the theory only when it is confirmed by a real possibility to increase personal dignity. He proudly bears the title of "Benefactor of mankind", has a shrewd mind, but is always afraid to be deceived in their high expectations. And yet his favorite method is to knowingly consider himself the winner, so as not to show inappropriate coquetry. He is moderately ambivalent, believing that drinking beer in the morning is not only harmful, but also useful. He is characterized by simplicity in dealing with people from the people, rude greasy vocabulary, under all this he successfully hides his complete indifference to the world. This is recognized by all genius self on the occasion of St. Petersburg simple, at a glance, know how to appreciate vis-;-vis. He knows the true value of the delights lavished on him, knows how to recognize their hidden springs, but the interlocutor hardly suspects this. Having repeatedly proved to himself what ingenious common sense he possessed, he believed that he had won the right in his innermost reflections to make fun of even himself; he regularly hones his thought on the caustic sarcasm, the sparks of which are lavished on his own Affairs. Of course, he cleverly pretends, if seriously bombards own facilities, he beats he all same blanks bullets and shoots only to temper its spirit.
Life is unjust in principal... (îòðûâîê èç êíèãè, íà÷àëî)
Just Fiction Edition (2020-01-23) - ISBN-13: 978-620-0-48882-4