441
Speaking Club, Rereading the journal (2.16—4.16)
s - 1, i - 1, M.
d – 40.
I was going to write about Ferguson’s book, which I finished reading yesterday, but after an emotional speaking club I think it’s worth to consider what made me angry and how I lost control over my usually calm manner of speech. Really, at the end of the speaking club when we got out of the caf;, I shouted at X so loudly as if I were really mad. So it started from ‘now.’ X said that there is only one way of looking at the concept of now and everyone who thinks differently—well, there are no such people according to X. I said that there are two or even more ways of looking at ‘now’ and then tried to explain why I think so. X said his trivial, ‘You get rid of everything,’ and started leaping from one point to another. I tried to explain that there are really two different views and some people wrote fat books about both. ‘You can’t get rid of now!’ was his answer. When I asked about what exactly he means by now, he wasn’t able to give any coherent answer and said that now is always here even if you can’t measure it. Then there were lots of words and a meaningless attempt to turn things upside down which eventually led to complete misunderstanding. I tried to talk about my ‘good’ and ‘bad’ wonderings and where it led me to, which again produced a lot of misunderstanding. At last, when we were outdoors, he started blaming ‘elitists’ and put me in a category of what he called ‘technocracy’ saying that—I actually don’t remember exactly what he said at this point. But at some moment I suddenly took this ‘elitist role’ and shouted at him accusing all idiots, to whom I put him in the same way as he did with me earlier, in all ‘evils’ of the world. Again, I don’t remember all details, but there were at least four or five sentences with one breath so loud that I surprised at myself quite a lot.
To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
Next: http://www.proza.ru/2019/10/25/1942