243.
Paul Johnson, WBW, Peterson “Biblical Series” 1, T. Frank. S, R – 20, c.
I’m not sure exactly, but I think that my disease was triggered by an extremely intensive training. MMA makes me sick! Especially, it happens if I start writing about it. Um… hmm…well… Fuck! I want to write better! Why do I use these stupid expressions? Why do I write down my thoughts in such a foolish way? If I can’t write fluently about my ideas, I should try to do it using different ways instead of looking at only one direction and making one dumbest thing above the other.
In November I also tried to write about MMA in the journal and shift my attention to it, but then, similarly to the current case, got sick. I can’t say that this is the only reason that makes me feel upset, but it seems obvious that writing about MMA doesn’t bring any value to my self-development. I don’t feel myself great or even sufficiently well while I’m doing that. Let’s give up!
I think it will be better to come back to deep immersion into linguistics and cognitive sciences. Maybe after some period of time when I achieve some sort of fluency in writing, and my skills will be developed at the highest level, I’ll return to MMA and devote a little time to expand my theoretical knowledge in this field.
Now, I’m gonna write about everything I do and reflect on all important things which are not necessarily should be involved—
Today, I’m writing down bull shit. It’s fucking bull shit! I can’t express my thoughts! And this damn tinnitus has appeared again! Hello! How are you doing? Oh… Maybe it’s time to switch on Russian? In Russian I certainly can write about anything with no disappointment.
To the beginning: http://www.proza.ru/2018/03/10/1530
Next: http://www.proza.ru/2019/02/07/1303