NEW ROBINSONS
how to learn to live with yourself
I saw an angel in a piece of marble and cut the stone until it freed him.
Michelangelo.
This book is not for the majority of people, but for those who are determined to live with themselves on a permanent basis, having a kind of "spiritual marriage with one's own soul."
If you are attracted by large crowds of people, if you think through the notion of "we", if you can not live without family, without wife, without someone's control and / or presence, if you are annoyed by loneliness and frightened by "emptiness without people" - this book is not for you. This book is for those who survived my book "The Apology of Misanthropy," for those who are ready to embark on a journey with their souls, for those who are tired of society, for those who seek purity... alone with themselves.
Also, this book is not a "motivational guide", it's not a "how to become happy" type of book.
I have always been amazed by such books in the sense that this Talmud, which is obviously not working, is also being sold to trusting citizens with an enviable regularity (and obviously without results).
But over time, many began to realize that such books are just "a placebo for procrastinators", and are intended only to tickle the nerve of lazy citizens seeking magical solutions.
What is sad in this situation is that the authors are not lazy, they write a lot; sometimes with talent, but all of their efforts went up in smoke, eventually having turned into a "motivational quotes" on a facebook pages...
My book was created for a different purpose - to show how you can live - alone - with yourself.
Of course, there will be a little criticism, a little bit of advises, but no miracles should be expected.
If you wait for them, then you should read "motivational guides": you will sleep peacefully.
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CHAPTER FIRST.
WHAT IS WHAT.
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1. THE BEGINNING OF MY WAY.
In 2017, a big revolution happened in my life - I moved to a small hut outside the city.
Originally it was a shed on a large stretch of countryside (owned by my relatives: mother and grandmother), in which no one wanted to live. The shed was abandoned and littered with various trash. I liked this place - it was quiet and surrounded by beautiful nature, neighbors were far away and were not very noisy ...
Life in the city by that time was already horribly boring to me- all the endless neighbourghoods began to get on my nerves. In the city, I had a day job and worked on the promotion of my Youtube channel.
The latter was very useful to me, when another Russian crisis occured and I was forced to quit my day job, also realizing that traveling to work is unnecessary if the income, albeit slightly less, comes from the Internet. Speaking about the incomes, I'm talking about the amount that is absolutely tiny by world and even metropolitan Russian standards - it's about 200-250 USD a month at a day job and 150-200 in the Internet.
Yes, I lived without three meals a day and without a separate bathroom - on a tiny living space, but that suited me. I did not like the environment - a lot of apartments, people, noisy downtown, constant steps overhead...
This is what they call "poverty", but I was more interested in peace than everyday trips to the office ... (I note that I'm not an introvert and not a closed person, I communicate freely with anyone: life has taught me a lot for almost forty years).
If someone here feels irritated and wants to comment on the topic "you just had to look for a good job, and stop living in a hut without a wife and children," then it is recommended to put this book down and read something else.
And I will answer with this tirade...
In my childhood, when there were no CD-players, but only an old vynil, I dreamed that one day there would be invented tiny devices that would play music through tiny headphones right into my head ...
In my childhood, when the collection of music occupied all the furniture, I dreamed of the day when all my music would fit on this same device ...
In my childhood, when it was almost impossible to find interesting music in Soviet Russia, I dreamed that I could download music from one source ...
And this dream came true.
I have a player on which a lot of music can fit, and I listen to the music on the Internet.
When I was young, my collection of books occupied half a room. Now all this is in my computer.
I also dreamed that I could get any book I wanted ...
And this dream also came true. I read any book, any research, any work, extracting them from the same eternal source, the Internet.
The same with the movie lectures, etc.
The Internet gave me happiness.
Previously, for obtaining such a collection of books and it's knowledge, I would have had to sell the house or remain ignorant for the rest of my days, searching the books and music in libraries and empty soviet shops with desperation and with no avail.
And people are still crying about the hardships of life! How so! You know the answers to all questions, read any books when you want, listen to music everywhere - on the go, at bus stops, in the park in the sunshine you can listen to any lecture, learn any language ... and still unhappy?
In connection with this, I recalled the parable-anecdote:
"The man died and went to heaven. Everything is fine: people, food, even the beauty of nature...
And the man asks the Archangel:
- So, can you let me have a look at hell?
Archangel showed it to him, and there exactly everything is the same, including the landscape, but people for some reason cry and suffer.
- Why are they all so unhappy? - asks a surprised man.
- Oh! they just think it's better in heaven..."
In general, I have never been interested in a full-fledged life that requires fierce socialization - the price for a good apartment in the sleeping area was too high, and I did not want to lose my personal space, working 24/7.
The popularity (albeit tiny) of Youtube was too smothering to me, so I I deleted my channel, moving away from broadcasting to the masses. I was the eager to leave big city neurosis for good.
And I put a little bit of money in the modernization of that same shed, so it became a small dwelling for one person. The small size of the living space on the site did not bother me too much - for when you go out into the yard, with flowers, shrubs and trees, this space is the continuation of your freedom.
I will say more - the size of a cheap shack outside the city was not much less thanmy room in the center of Krasnodar, where I lived previously. If there's any charm in the Kuban area, this is precisely is a wide variety of choices of the low cost "households" - and i I have taken full advantage of the situation.
"A person dies when he loses the ability to be surprised and to rejoice with simple things" - a wise man said.
This is what I have experienced first hand - if you lose the joy in your soul from the fact that you are just alive, not sick, not crippled and not doomed to imminent death or torture, then you have some problems with your soul...The terrifying neurosis of a big city kills the soul far fsater than disasters and crisises.
Death of the soul is not a sudden thing - it's not a brick that has fallen to your head thus killing you: on the contrary, it is imperceptible thing, like any mortal illness...death of the soul operates like a black hole, absorbing everything that is pure that we have in ourselves.
And the longer I lived in nature, the more I understood how many resons for regrets and irritation in my past life were caused by urban neurosis!
Indeed, it is difficult to refrain from social issues, drowning yourself in the eternal swamp of "multi-apartment houses."
Indeed, it is difficult to refrain from commenting on politics when it is discussed on every tv channel.
Truly, it's hard not to condemn someone when the reasons for condemnation appear on every corner.
And that's why it became so important for me to LEAVE it all behind.
To find peace and silence... purity of existence.