№1
Что, Йорда?!
Схватила? (Я на «ты» в традициях иврита, в котором нет формы «вы». А вот в английском, эдаком лингва франка, за который ты уцепилась, отмерла форма обращения «ты» и осталась только вежливейшая «вы». Но сильнее всего наш начальный русский язык, в котором есть даже не совсем признанный звательный падеж, особенно при общении с женщинами. Если бы твоё имя было «Адела», я бы мог сказать: «Адел, вот твой удел. Вот как ты воспитала своих детей.»)
О, устроительница фейковых пасх после того, как ты или вы выкатились с концами из еврейской Филистимлянии-Палестины и потеряли всё, приговорив семью к окончательному растворению и исчезновению.
Майн штейтеле Бельц...
Майн штейтеле Бельц...
Поесть свинячий зельц.
Увесистый тельц!
Предала ты и Молдову, и Галилею.
Курс на ассимиляцию и самоаннигиляцию, последняя вспышка.
Ты потеряла идишкейт и показала свою хуцпу, когда подошла-подскочила и проявила свою фрустрацию: «Я тебя не приглашала, я тебя не приглашала...» Да я пришёл по просьбе дочковской, которая боялась нападений с твоей стороны. Я хотел было уйти, на кой ляд мне твоя некошерная жрачка и пустопорожний стрёкот? Но меня удержали и я, в ретроспекте, доволен, что остался и созерцал присутствовавших. Твоя бедная дочурка нашла шейгеца таких же громадных размеров. Гаврош высок и она вымахала, ого-го. Митохондрия твоей матери продлилась в ней и послужит базисом, то есть, подложкой для напыления неевреев на новые временны;е слои будущего. Будут печатать трёхмерные причиндалы прямо дома.
Бедный его сыночек Эма, рождённый тобою в Кишинёве, всё тщился разъять кирпичики Вселенной своим математизированным мозгом. Мембраны и браны... Вкусы, флаворы-фаворы и мельчающие обратные иерархии... Какие-то совпадения выведенных им формул с природой иногда случались, но суперколлайдер опроверг его надежды и ожидания. Эма опять пошёл на приступ. Не дойдёт, упадёт. Ест одну кету и шоколад, впитал и отраву либерализма. Кроме того, современные теории стрингов... Стринги, эти шнуры-ниточки Космоса слишком крошечные, а мультивселенные невообразимо далеки от нас. Никакой коллайдер их не сумеет почувствовать. Это вам не счётчик Гейгера. Нужен такой громадный ускоритель частиц, размером с солнечную систему и поболе. По сути, инфантильный инок утонул в своих выкладках, испещрявших его блокноты. Талмудические мозги деда нашли своё выражение в высшей математике, он пытался шурупить. А моральная ткань его тонка. Он не сумел воспитать свою жену, отрада его преклонных лет Петалума покажет нарушителю шестой заповеди небо в алмазах. И довольно быстро. Есть шанс увидеть наказание и возмездие. Но оно не принесёт никакого удовлетворения. Я ведь уже восседаю на слежавшихся годах.
Видел намедни нобелевского лауреата, супруга его прямо телохранитель, держит его за руку, ведёт... Хоть он и голова, но она шея и всё, что ниже. Не чета нашим недотыкомкам.
Ваш выпестованный сын женился на моей дочери, которая продолжение моей экс-жены, заточенной на роль терминатора мужей и детей.
Твоя семья прекращена, игрек-хромосома Гаврошa умерщвлена, хотя одна из твоих икс-хромосом и сидит во внучке Петалуме. Петалумочка-безумочка выращена так же, как и моя дочь, одиночкой. Хотя и есть параллели между мною и твоей Эмочкой, но он витал в марихуанно-антиконсервативных сферах...
Так и быть. Чтобы разрядить атмосферу, вот вам шутка обо мне, ещё живом родоначальнике конвергенции Амеруссии:
«Я ничего не знаю и ничего не понимаю. Мне никто ничего не говорил. Я знаюсь только с людьми, которые ничего не знают и не понимают.»
А вы-то йордим!.. А я оле хадаш.
Хаим
№2
31 дек ещё 2009 года
Это открытое письмо.
Уважаемые Йорда и Гаврош,
Нам трудно организовать встречу, но я хочу ответить Вам на замечание Йорды о выполнении обещаний— оно было обращено ко мне.
Моё предложение весной 2006 года—что я знал о жизни молодой четы Кyp тогда?—дать $4000 на покупку квартиры для увеличившейся семьи не было безусловным. В 2005-2006 гг на рынке была неустойчивость (мой приятель Алик и я тут же продали наши халабуды). В 2007 году ситуация ухудшилась, в 2008 году рынок просел, а в 2009 г.—загнулся. Вы, Нюша, я и бестолковая чета Кур потеряли не менее $2000. На самом деле, наши потери больше, так как доллар, и рубль обесценились. Наши потери могут достигать $25000 (в долларах 2006 г.) Но если ваши, мои и Нюшины потери вычитаются из бумажных повышений цен до 2006 г, то потери Амиланы Кур реальны. Одним махом они сожгли $5000. Я очень просил их не делать глупостей, «портил отношения», рвал сердце—максимум моих достижений, NO CONDO FEE в их доме. Втайне я надеялся, что им не дадут MORTGAGE, но “хитрые, алчные агенты и жадные , власть предержащие банкиры поволокли петушка Эмочку на заклание”. Так я писал Луше, пытаясь убедить их не торопиться. Как говаривал мой покойный отец обо мне: «Если бы не мой дурак, я бы смеялся».
Мы не можем навязать Эмолуше наш образ мыслей, наш образ жизни. Мы даже не должны вмешиваться в их дела, хотя очень хочется. Хочется посюсюкать с этими инакомыслящими инфантилами, но не рекомендуется.
Однако, мы имеем право не финансировать их проекты, особенно провальные.
Никто и не спрашивал совета...
Они уже очень большие мальчик и девочка.
Если прокол, deal with it!
Это страна воров и мошенников, deal with it!
Это страна лицемерия и обжорства, deal with it!
Это страна ханжей и рэкетиров в университетах, deal with it!
Respectfully,
Хаим
P.S.
Be back in the late spring.
Лана сообщила мне, что их Субару загнулся. Будучи за границей, я потратил массу времени, чтобы организовать их встречу с моим приятелем Мишей Ceльманом—дилером в Воронеже и Subaru dealer in Norwood. Они поехали –Миша видел их еврейские ПУНИМ—они выбрали... китайца, который их красиво сделал, увеличив цену на 1000 условных единиц.
P.P.S. Be back in summer.
Я прикрепил на ветровом стекле их машины инфо, как понизить их ипотеку (MORTGAGE) и выплаты (Obama's program); no feedback, no reaction.
№3
Dear Yorda:
What bread and roof?
Аre they hungry and homeless? They suffer from their 'burbs and they are affected by too many rooms in their dwelling. They also suffer from the food industry-USA. Lusha knows it.
And, Yorda, we ARE the past. All the cells of your body, your brain folds and crannies are from the past. From our ancestors who invented the rules according to some unknowable push.
We have no future; ponder this, you, the hapless Jewess.
Every day we INCREMENTALLY try the waters of the future. Our grandchildren are our tickets to the future which becomes the past. And fast.
Thank you for brainwashing my daughter. She needs it. She is aging and she is to become smarter.
Ah, Yorda, Yorda...
№4
Dear Yorda:
I want to reply to some of your questions and, perhaps, it will diminish your perplexity.
Why did I mail to you copies of my awards? (This stuff is just curious; it does not have any timeless value.) I view these pieces of paper as fillers. As I mentioned to you I never bought envelopes in America. I either used free envelopes or I made them myself in my travels. However I want to fill envelopes to the hilt without affixing additional stamps. I know the weight of the standard legal 7 X 11. So sometimes I put them in... It is all small matter but it shows my modus operandi—THE BEST WAY TO MAKE MONEY IS NOT TO LOSE IT.
You post a rhetoric question why I do not stay on the territory of Israel all the time of my life. Everybody got his or her own Israel. Your Israel is almost entirely different from mine. Noel possesses his own Israel; even Lusha carries her own one. I believe if Nyusha –instead of her and her parents' galut attitude—were to join me in my aliyah, I could have found myself living in Israel with more children. But her father thought America and Nyusha loved her alpha male father and his ideas. I was waiting for her and my Lusha—as I promised—for 8 (!) years in Rome and Boston and I paid a humongous bill towards their exorbitant emigration-immigration. While waiting I was building my own Israel—I went to the Sinai, I climbed the Golan and trekked Hermon, I worked in Akhziv and studied on Mount Zion in Jerusalem. When Nyusha and Lusha came here in 1986 I flew to Israel for the wedding party and to explore Nablus, the Judean Desert and Gamla. When Nyusha and Lusha decided to part our ways I went to help Tsahal, I worked in Tsfat and participated in the cultural life of Tel Aviv. I published my piece in Jerusalem Post and gave presentations in Haifa. I went to Israel 15 times and saved a lot of money doing that.
I know already that it does not impress you. What impresses you after all? I guess—substantial salaries, welfare of families, happy children, good food, expensive clothes, and beautiful homes...The soulless standard imposed by the stalwarts of this society. In this case your ideals are very close to Lana's who said once that material things come first. Art comes second for her–courtesy of Nyusha's upbringing.I did abandon neither Nyusha-Lusha, nor my parents. They all refused to go on aliyah, to become more Jewish, to get more educated and to become healthier in a more advanced society. To get rid of their slavishness, to get rid of their bad Slavic traits and to change their sluggish attitudes.
When Lusha came here 24 years ago I paid her school. I took them around; I was their servant. I found a job for Nyusha. Lusha became bat mitsva. What made Lusha to be negative to her father? It is a complex thing. One ingredient was Nyusha's thirst for power and her refusal to drum up Lusha’s father’s importance. Nyusha openly attacked me at Lusha's presence. She ruined my career. She was unfaithful. The family started to fall apart. Poor Lusha once tried to appropriate my collection; I wrestled coins from her hands. Such incidents could leave scars. When they left our apartment Lusha returned and forced her way inside breaking a weak lock. It left an indelible mark on me. When Nyusha made a statement that Lusha was so busy that she did not have time to meet her father I decided to stop my monthly payments—I paid already a lot of money which Nyusha swallowed without a shadow of gratitude. (I was losing my job anyway.) Of course, such a poisonous atmosphere affected Lusha. But we must know that she must “thank” Nyusha who threatened to “murder mother.” Why, my mother lived far away in Moscow and she was a goodly wife. Recently Nyusha—on her own volition—acknowledged that— while in Moscow—she did not allow my mother to meet Lusha on a regular basis. Nyusha always tried to degrade me because my parents and grandparents are from the higher stratum of the Jewish Pale. Deep dow she knows her Khazarian roots. I am a Litvak and thus I am not interested much in gold and palaces; I value a modest and scholarly life. Nyusha created hell with her pitiful priorities; it was hard to fight her though I tried –to Lusha's detriment. I trust Lusha to recover from her trauma if she puts it in a right perspective and looks at it from the height of her age. Advanced American self-help books might help her.
Lusha did get wounded. She ran away from the Jewish school and landed at the high school rife with drugs and sex. (Now poor Реtalumochka is slated to repeat this nightmare.)
We cannot change the facts and wounds of the past. But we slowly change our attitudes to them. It is still possible to live in dignity. Such a life must be modest—in terms of money—but rich—in terms of intellectual pursuits. Any attempt to shift the balance towards consumerism (today's picture) will result in a poor mental and physical health. It will result in a diminished future for all. Or no future at all.
№5
Йорда отвечала так:
Хаим,
Here is another letter about Хаим. What a great humanitarian and Jew he is! History has plenty examples of great scientists, artists and humanitarians who neglected their own children. This exactly what you did! You neglected your own daughter, you did not teach her these wonderful principals of life, and you were not there for her when she needed you the most. You are not there for her now, you are only for yourself. Maybe you are not selfish to other people, but you are definitely a very selfish father.
If you hate this country so much and you are such a devoted Jew, why you are not in Israel? What possibly can stop you? You can’t cheat in Israel!
“Anahnu ioshvim al amerpeset and bonim at medina!
We are sitting at our galut patio but our graves will be in the state. Мединат Исраэль.
If Jewish people are dying, why you did not marry a good Jewish woman 20 years ago after divorce and did not create more Jewish kids yourself? You wanted freedom for your spiritual explorations. You know, the kids are a great deal of work and dedication. I forgot, you don’t know! Instead you married a Japanese woman who obeys and serves all your needs.
I don’t care if you live as a beggar, it is free country, I detest the fact that you pretend to be a beggar!
All this proves that you are a hypocrite! You bend the facts depending on your needs. The $4000 was for the baby. I have the original letter and check from 2004. Here you are ready to pay for another baby, or actually ready to lie about paying for another baby.
There is nothing I want more in this life but to have more grandchildren. They will never have another baby. THEY CANNOT AFFORD ANOTHER BABY!!! Unhappy parents raise unhappy children. Lusha is a living proof of this fact. They are in deep financial hole. If you want to help, I am ready to meet and talk. Otherwise don’t bother to answer this E-Mail. Also please inform Lusha when you want to visit her; I don’t want to be there at the same time, I don’t want to see you. I told to Lusha many times that it is important to have a connection with your father and your mother no matter what. You are her father, Lusha does not have a choice, I do.
№6
Yorda
Dear Yorda:
We have a systemic difference.
I would like you to garner examples from a Jewish millionaire who gave his kidney to a black woman and was going to give another but his family begged him not to do it.
When asked he said, "Do I have more right to live than them?"
Our children have no right to have a life of luxury.
They do not need so many rooms. They burn their money and the money their ancestors gave them.
But they could get the same RYLOM STAY (real estate) for much less money if they waited, there was no rush. They were being had by the "smart" agents and bankers.
They also ruin their health by being bicoastal “snow birds.”
I perceive myself as a not selfish critter at all.
While you were enjoying you bourgeois life I went to Gaza at my own expense to defend the Jewish peasants.
I put my life in danger to change the condominium system here; I was physically attacked by American mafia-like guys.
I went to the Israeli army as a volunteer.
I was held at a knife point in Abu Tor.
True, my life is modest. But I am too proud to serve someone for money at this country of hustlers.
Yesh kesef bli avoda, aval yesh avoda bli kesef.
There is money without any job, but there the job without any money.
And my work is vast, I work very hard. I sent you an example of my work. If you have time to read and ponder, let me know.
I support my wife and my stepdaughter but in a very modest way. They are happy and free.
I set a great example for the young. My carbon footprint is light; we eat low on the food chain.
We do not order junk food from Chinese eateries. We avoid fast food.
*I never bought envelopes in America, but I sent tons of letters in the recycled ones.* Smile.
I help our grandchildren more than gas guzzlers and jet setters and restaurant diners.
But they do not get a good nutrition there, I assure you. And together with Nyusha they will negatively affect people around us.
Nyusha is from a very rich family and her appetites are huge. She simply refuses to live spiritually. She needs stuff.
And Lusha inherited this trait from her.
Unless Lusha and Noel pass through some kind of transformation (not a chemical-induced one) they are set for disappointment. Not good.
I am very worried, but I am cornered by you and Nyusha.
As for my pledge it was NOT a reward for baby. Long before I talked to Nyusha, I nagged Lusha a bit, "Where is the baby after 10 years of marriage? Jewish people are dying." I mean good Ashkenazim, beautiful ones, biblical ones.
So the baby made her way into this country of hustlers. Not by my "promises" but by her parents' decision!
And then we got together at Cambridgeport and started to plan for the future. Buying a house...
This $4000 was earmarked for the living space when a bright future beckoned.
But the situation is fluid. Sometimes people should pay attention to what is going on. Sometimes people should ask for advice. Sometimes people buy fore closured homes and fix them. Sometimes people delegate responsibilities...
Well, people like Nyulusha are great for this economy-shmeconomy of embezzlers. Just wait what will come next.
Last year I did pledge to them $1000 for a second baby. They said $1500—I was signing the check but they became no takers.
"Babies are expensive." What a doom! What selfishness! What a wrong attitude!
I say babies are not expensive at all if you choose the road less taken. Like Robert Frost advised.
But who needs the Frost's poems? Who needs a "beggar" father? Emilusha NEVER visited me at my place though I invited them on many occasions... They prefer to sit with me at the non-kosher eatery and have their bill paid invariably by me.
Хаим
П. С. Нет у тебя выбора другой семьи, Йорда. Мы мухтоним.
№7
Йорда, вдохновитель и организатор эмиграции и ещё одного галута, опять долбит:
Хаим:
I received your letter. As usual, it is always about you. If you want to talk about kids, why did you send me your haiku? To show me how talented you are. I don’t care, you don’t impress me. I would prefer for Lusha to have less talented and more caring father. You asked me once: “How do I feel about Nyusha’s marriage to a damaged girl? I will ask you: How do you feel about damaging your own daughter? She has no understanding how important the family is because she did not have one. Don’t even start with me about Nyusha, with difference from you Nyusha always puts Lusha’s interests first and does everything she can and sometimes can’t to help her. You only judge and give advices.
I will not discuss kid’s house with you because you sit on the money but you live as beggars do. Your granddaughter has a roof over her head, her room, her play-room, and their monthly mortgage payment is less than what they paid for the hole they lived in Cambridge. You did not help. My family did. So don’t count how much I lost, because I gained my sleep knowing that my son’s family has a home in nice town with good schools for my granddaughter. I gained the love of Noel and Lusha for everything I did and do for them. Count how much you never gave. Count the gratitude and love from kids you will never have. Now we can compare who really lost the most.
About your promise. I saw your letter in 2004 when I visited kids in Seattle. You promised $4000 if they will have a kid. Nobody was talking about house in 2004. Don’t change your story. You wanted a grandchild and you promised to help. Kids cost money. They pay $140 for Петалума’s Day-care each month, it’s 1680 a year. And how about food and clothes and doctors and …
Nobody will ever ask you for and advice or will listen to you advices – deal with It!
Don’t count the kids mistakes; mistakes are part of life – deal with it.
You will never will be loved or respected if you are not willing to help, I mean a real help – deal with it!
Хаим, to fulfill your promise you need to give kids a check for $4000 (a real one, not one I saw in 2004), or based on your calculations in 2004 dollars it will be much more. They fulfill their part of the deal and Uma is a living wonderful proof. Where is your help?
Don’t send me Mail or E-mail and write about you fillings. You are not my friend or part of my family. If you want to be a part of my family, become a part of Lusha’s family. For now you are only a visitor, who comes for celebrations, but not willing to help. It is amazing that smart guy like you, who believes in God does not understand that UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and GIVING are the most satisfying deeds in this life.
Have a nice life,
Yorda.
№8
Nota bene.
Dear Yorda:
My pledge to cough up $4000 towards buying a dwelling was not unconditional.
The real estate market was volatile. I was in doubt.
But I succeeded to save them from a condo fee, a nightmare plague for homeowners in Greater Boston.
We do have a right to finance or not to finance their projects.
They are not able to manage money. Their lifestyle is not acceptable. They are no feedback people. Yet I love them even more and I shall behave in a way benefiting them without sacrificing my principles.
However, I did break these principles on a number of occasions to appease them. It was wrong and we will suffer from this.
My regrets,
Хаим
P. S.
Here is the Jewish America you brought your family to.
Читай мой хайбун о Джонатане и его муровой книге.
There I Was Too
Jonathan appears at the Coolidge Corner Theatre in the posh town of Brookline. It is impossible to pay rent or to buy a house there but many people do that anyway, though.
He is cracking jokes:
«Working so much on my art, so little—on my life.
The book is on relationships.
Accidentally, no argument to make in his book but it is full of argument.
It is a very political book.
Its passages are not representative but yet I will attempt to read a bit.
Recently I found my first book.
They said 'What have you done?' And I say the same. »
His first passage revolves around the circumcision. He even mentions the Shehihayanu prayer. He doesn’t wear any kind of headgear, though.
Jonathan got a very Semitic countenance, he is a living proof that the significant segment of Ashkenazi Jews are not white. He is balancing his left foot on its toe while reading. Is it a Talmud Torah pose?
He pronounces, «Because the writing challenges you, it makes you vulnerable. » It is not bad filler in the future renku sequence.
The above rants are the illustration of one disjoined family discourse.
The letters of Хаим to Yorda and back from her have been edited and rearranged.
On the margins I scribble
stolen persimmon
stuck in my gullet—
I bite more
gentle snowfall…
the black glistening
of the extinguished bonfire
bambukovaya roscha:
v vydokhnutom oblachke
vspyhivayet solntse