I have a strange feeling. Something like void and despair. What was it? Was it just a dream? Can I still deny the Truth, the Knowledge I got? Sure I can't, but it was so unreal, so… oh, I guess I have to look back to realize all that happened with me and with my world... with our world.
But what is the reference point? I guess, it Is the moment of my emergence in reality, when my consciousness was just a little corn in the void. There was no leaves, no petals or stem. Only small corn of "Myself" wandering in the endless Void, seeking to the exit. Pure and hopeless creature with dark present and nebulous future.
And then I opened my eyes. It was the first time, when saw this world. But at first I didn't realize, what was it and how was it. I was growing up in the calm and peaceful time. Didn't know anything about the war as most of my coevals. All we knew is about the far lands of Sharra, where is hundred years' war. We knew how hopeless, violent and meaningless it was. But we've never seen it.
The people of our land Inmaatel lived in peace for a thousand years. That's how our teachers told us. It was not truth, but it was the fact that neither me, nor my parents didn't see the real war.
My town Linma was near the capital of Inmaatel - Saire. My town has also another name - Soama, which mean "the land of sun". Because of the hot summer and warm autumn every year. Lanes and alleys, with the stony roads. Small shops, street merchants, pubs, buskers, low houses, shining sky and sea air. That was the Saire, that was the Soama.
There was nothing extraordinary in my childhood. I have a best friend named Tai-sho. He was one year younger than me. His parents was the emigrants from the Eastern Republic of Niiroshio. But Tai-sho himself grown up in Saire and didn't even know the Niir language. Despite his eastern look, both we was very similar. Some people even thought that we was twin.
We have our own "Secret Kingdom" near the abandoned old railway station. There was also river and forest. And that was our refuge, our personal another world. We liked to play there in explorers seeking for evidence of "lost civilization of Winged Squirrel People" and "Great treasure of Nut Kingdom".
I can't remember anything dark in the story of our childhood. That was cheerful days full of wonders. Well, maybe I idealize a little... actually there was some weird incidents. One of them was especially bizzare. Once we was playing a bit closer to end of railway line. Suddenly Tai-sho stopped moving.
When I asked him "what's wrong?" he didn't answer. He was staying without any move, without words and staring at the forest. He didn't react on my words. And suddenly he started to go. His face was as if enchanted. He was watching only at the deep forest and going there like something was calling him.
I figured out that I can't do anything with him and just went behind him. The forest was dark and misty. We never was inside there, perhaps we wanted. The forest has a strange aura, it was inviting and daunting at the same time. Most of the Linma's citizens wasn't there and seems they pretended that the forest just does not exist.
So, it was the first time, when we went inside. When we came under the thick ramification, the sun dissapeared. There was mist and grave silence around. There was a cold despide the day summer. It was hard to espy anything because of fog. But it seemed like Tai-sho knew exactly where should we go.
I followed him, the time stopped and became into eternity. It seemed that we will never stop, that this road is endless. I forgot all about, I was as if in trance and didn't even realized that my friend has gone. I was completely alone in the cold fog. I didn't hear any voice and sound and even when I tried to call Tai-sho, I didn't hear the echo of my voice.
This place was so cold and dark. I surrendered to despair. All what I could is just go furher, because all around was same. The white mist and riflegreen ramifications... that's all what I saw! Don't remember, how long was my wanderings, but suddenly I noticed the strange twinkle deep in the fog.
It was only the ten second and then it disappeared. And after few seconds it has appeared again and started moving, I followed it. The little twinkle was my last hope, last piece of light in the forest full of dark and cold. The fog started disperse and I have seen the something new and unvelievable.
The figure rounded by light, long hairs white like an early snow, ghost-like dress and her face. It was a girl. Beautiful, young and… unreal. She was like a ghost, but so full of life. Shining smile on her face has slight shade of sadness. When I had tried to approach, she turned to me. She was looking at me, I was sinking in the abyss of her moonlike eyes.
She said: "Lonely soul in the endless ocean of Rathai. What did you lost? What do you seek here in the Anneb?"
Her voice was like an echo, like a silent water or like wind blowing. I could't understand her. What she was talking about? What was those names meaning? I have never heard such words before. And her manner of pronunciation made me think about the languages of Ancient. I always thought it was just a legend, but at that moment I could hear those words...
"I am looking for my friend!" - At last I've answered.
"Don't worry about him, he was just fascinated by the Laix. He will wander in the Anneb, but he'll find the exit anyway."
"What are you talking about? What is the Anneb? What does all this words mean?"
"The Anneb is the place where you are, where I am. It is the Grand Workshop"
"The Grand Workshop?"
"Here is the Beginning of all things, here is the End, here is the Life, Death and Rebirth. Here is the core of Rathai."
"What is Rathai?"
"Your question is meaningless. Rathai is you, Rathai is me, Rathai is your friends, your family, your city, your country... all. Just look around you and will see that all is Rathai."
She spoke in a strange way I didn't understand. She didn't use the straight answers, she spoke mysteriously.
"Follow me, Wanderer. I will show you the way." - she said.
"Which way?"
She didn't answer, just turned back and went ahead. Her light was my only lodestar, my last hope to find exit. I fully submitted and followed her. I was completely in her power. Finally we arrived the lake. In front of us was the waterfall. She went in the water and stretched out her hand to me. When I had touched her graceful palm, I felt the warmth within my body.
I forgot all about and didn't even realize how I fell into the water and how she draggedd me into the waterfall. Now my memories are starting to vanish. All I remember is what happened after. Actually there is nothing to say, because I can't remember what happened after at once. The life was back on track. My and my friend's life.
I can't say that there was something unusual after in my life. I was growing up, my life was changing. I went in the High School and after in the Academy of Liberal Arts. There I got acquainted with Aya. She became my best friend, companion and love. This black haired, thin girl with serious face and tattoo on her neck was only one person so close to me, so like-minded.
At the end she had became my wife and we started to live together near the Aete River. That was my life. Calm, silent and usuall. There was no wars near me, no tragedies or something like that.
So, why I am here now? Why all around is vanishing and I'm wandering here in the void? My memories are vanishing. They are cracking as the sky now, as the building and homes in my town. And I am alone again in this misty wood. The only one saved place in this world. The sun faded, but here is no darkness. I see the ghoustly firebugs are flying around in this cold mist.
Here is only one way. As the mist had ended I saw this lake and waterfall again. It has not changed, it is tha same as it was in my childhood. There is no way to escape, there is no another save place in this world anymore. So, should I go there again into this waterfall to see this nightmare? Or will I see something another unless the ruins under black sky?
I don't know... but anyway I still want to go there and I will do it.
***
The full darkess and absolute void, I don't feel anything. Neither pain, nor joy or sadness. Am I died?
Suddenly the bright light illumine all around. What is this place? It looks like a big library. No, "big" is not such a word that can describe this place. The roof is going into the infinity and there is no end for the bookshelfs. And who is this girl? She looks so familiar as if I met her in the remote past. She sees me too. She approaches me and now the memories are coming back to me. It is that shining girl from the forest. She didn't change, she is still so young and beautiful as in my childhood. This ghost of past is looking at me with her sad smile.
"Welcome back, my old friend"
"Was I here before?"
"Yes, but then it was only one moment. Now this is your new home"
"What are you talking about?"
"The Rathai is renewing it's cycle. As it ever was."
"It means..."
"There is the end of your world and it's rebirth. The sun is faded, the sky is cracked and all the earth is full of ruins. The Grand Workshop is starting it's work"
"You speak the strange things for me..."
"Well, you have the all eternity to learn a lot of things you didn't know before. I will teach you. Here in the Library."