ïåðåâîä: http://www.proza.ru/2014/01/08/974
I was in a gymnasium. When I finished training, I looked with curiosity into sauna and into the room for drinking tea. There was nobody around and I went out. I had a strange feeling that I was in an unknown place. I went out of an almost unknown lane and appeared in an avenue which I couldn’t recognize at all. It was rather crowded. The sun rays were pouring from the sky in a right sense of that word. Their bright lines were seen very well and they were lowering down on the ground. All the people were covered by that light. They themselves were bright, dressed in light-colored clothes that could reflect the light.
I got sight of a girl with a white «Bluetooth» in her ear. It was connected to the hair-grip that like a white thin line was drowning in her curly dark hair. She was speaking with somebody with the help of that little device. Her while fluffy skirt was flying when she moved. She was disappearing in the crown, and I stepped aside and ran into a young man dressed in a light-grey suit. His straw-colored almost white hair was moving because of the wind like a feather grass. My feelings were so unusual that I didn’t even apologize. He did it, and then smiled and coming to the edge of the road raised his hand. A silver-colored taxi stopped near him. I was watching the car going away, it was disappearing far away and in the light I saw a great area where there were no big many-stored houses. It was very interesting and I went towards the square.
The weather was warm, it wasn’t hot, but the air was fresh – you felt the breath of May that had got its strength. The houses around me were beautiful, with columns and architectural decorations of all types. There were a lot of people around me too; some of them were walking along side with me; some were moving in the opposite direction; some were outrunning me. They were full of freedom and positive energy. I don’t think that they were smiling but the expressions of their faces were unobtrusively friendly; there wasn’t any intensity or vanity in their gestures. They were open-hearted and strong; at least I understood their behavior in such a way.
I was coming to the square and noticed lions made of white stone on the edges of it. The whole square was full of white light, it seemed unreal, and I at last realized that it wasn’t my world. I didn’t reach my aim; I turned round and ran back; I thought that I missed the door, when I left the gymnasium though it seemed rather strange to me. Having reached the familiar building I didn’t find a well-known signboard on it and remembered that I didn’t look back when I had left it. There was quite another institution and above the entrance I saw red neon letters «Caf;». I entered, everything was different inside, may be only walls were the same, but the furniture and the decoration of the rooms were absolutely different. I was in confusion and stopped at the door, I didn’t know what to do and where to go. A big man dressed in a white shirt with a blue tie asked me what I was looking for.
- There was a gymnasium! – I said.
- Oh, yes, it was long ago, - he answered.
- But I left it half an hour ago!
He looked at me attentively:
- We’ll clear it up.
He went out and returned with a host of the caf; as I thought. We were sitting at a small round table and he asked me some easy question, then he gave me a card with address, written by golden letters on it.
- Ted, please, call a taxi for our guest, - he said to his assistant.
I didn’t understand anything, but I wanted to understand and followed him. We went into the well-known street. My thoughts were flying in my head but I couldn’t catch their essence. Analyzing the parts of our conversation, the questions which had been asked me, my feelings and reminiscences I suddenly came to the conclusion, though it was unbelievable, that I was not only in another place, but in another time space. I was struck by than thought and asked the man who was walking with me:
- You said that the gymnasium was there very long ago. What does it mean? What date is it today?
- Don’t worry. You’ll get all the answers for your questions, - he said friendly. I felt something wrong: he didn’t deny my suspicions, he wasn’t surprised and I asked him:
- Please, tell me just what the year is now.
- Well, 2043-d (twenty forty third).
His answer stupefied me but I coped with my excitement and asked:
- According to what calendar, - I doubted that I was in future; it was very possible that there was quite different time measurement. Though, oh my God, what am I thinking about?
- After Christ, - he said smiling.
He was smiling I thought, and what should I do? He nodded:
- You will soon understand everything. Just follow me.
Passing by the people, I suddenly noticed a very well known face of a man. I tried to remember it. And you were looking at me and smiling. You were not surprised by my presence in that world. The man followed me, stopped a silver-colored car. He opened a back door of the car. I didn’t sit.
- I haven’t any money, - I answered to his gesture.
- Don’t worry, everything is paid, - he replied and said to the driver; - Carry the girl to the White House.
I sat on the back seat and the car started. It was very comfortable inside. The seat was covered with grey cloth and it was folded in some places. There were different devices and buttons on the doors. But it didn’t occupy my attention, I thought about the face I saw in the street.
“An acquainted person is here”, - I thought. I continued to strain my memory. But being moved, I had lost myself not only in space but the former world had lost its force. Even my feelings had changed, I felt myself better, but a little anxiety didn’t give me to realize it.
And the face was still before my eyes, waiting for my reminiscences. A dark tress of hair, waving up, dark eyebrows, and a smile on a sun burnt face. No, I diverted, departed, though I felt that something was touched inside me, when my eyes noticed your eyebrows. And I returned my thoughts back. Those eyebrows were so touching in their curve; they expressed tenderness; and you could feel that they silky. Your tender eyes were shining with joy. “Jeff!” – It flashed on in my mind, that I couldn’t remember you at once. May be I didn’t expect to meet you in that world. As well as I didn’t expect to meet you anywhere and it was a real miracle for me.
- Let’ go back, please, - I asked the driver, - I must return!
- All right! – He answered, not preventing me from my will.
In some minutes we appeared at the same well-known cross-roads. I jumped out of the car, I was looking for you. But there weren’t you anywhere. I was very upset, and I was standing at that crossroads for a long time, as I hoped to see you. Then the driver came to me. It was very unusual that he had been waiting for me for all that time.
- Let’s go, - he said to me, - I have to drive you.
- But why? – I asked.
- You are expected there. Don’t worry; people can never be lost here.
- Really? – I looked at him surprisingly. That world was too strange and I didn’t ask a question, that I would have asked without any doubt in my usual life: How could he know why I had returned?
- Everybody can be found here, - he tried to calm me down, - and Light knows who is where. And you are directed to him with one aim to let you find not only the person whom you are looking for but also find yourself.
I looked at my interlocutor. He was too polite for a driver at my opinion and he knew too much. What was I saying about? I was in another world and everything was different there. I noticed that he told me about Light.
- Where was I directed? – I asked as I was intrigued by his words.
- To the Light, to his main office.
I was so excited that couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t ask him anymore, though it was very curious. I guessed whom he was talking about. We sat into the car. My soul was trembling before the meeting. Everything inside me told that it was connected with God, I was very glad and at the same time I was afraid of that meeting. A feeling of awe stopped me.
We came to a large white house, I could hardly call it an ordinary building, and it was like a palace. The driver went out of the car and opened the door for me; I went out and appeared on the pavement; I was charmed by that wonderful sight. The driver began to sit down into the car and I looked back at him, as I noticed it.
- Don’t you go with me? – I asked with a trembling voice.
He smiled and nodded his head negatively.
- To the entrance, - I prayed.
- You don’t need any conductor, if you could enter our world. Go and you’ll be met, - he said at last and went away.
The silver car disappeared in a white mist and I was left along in front of that enormous palace, built of glass and white gold. My knees were bending, I felt, that I could fall down in front of that grandiose building and would never get up. But the person inside me was already running up along the bright stairs, made of while marble with bright spots, which were reflecting light, to that palace. I saw that image ahead of me and, making an effort, I strengthened myself and followed my wish.
The driver was right; there was a woman of middle age in a white suite at the entrance. She greeted me and followed into a big hall. It was light, and it consisted of the light itself, there wasn’t any ceiling, only light rising up and it was so white that the sky couldn’t be seen behind it. “It is like in the street”, – I thought. In spite of the big area, it was rather cozy there.
- Sit down, - said the woman-conductor.
I looked around me, and noticed shapes of white carved chairs around a large table, which had a triangle form with round corners. Along the walls there were chairs and sofas of the same form. I hesitated and didn’t know where to sit down. And the woman came to the table and took the chair. I came near and saw that the chair was covered with brocade. I sat down at that beautiful chair. The woman went away.
I waited, but nobody appeared. It was very quiet and so wonderful to sit there, in such a beautiful place. The light was very soft and I could touch it. It seemed to me that it could draw shapes before the eyes. I stretched my arm and changed the lines of the shapes. I played with the light and discovered quite unexpectedly that I was talking to a familiar voice. It was not “like a bolt from the blue” for me, it was a common thing on the level of clear thoughts. I was communicating with God. Realizing it I felt such a joy which it was difficult to express in one word. It consisted of many feelings: childhood, delight, frankness, purity and His wisdom and also quietness, peace and no vanity, pleasure and endless truth in His love. It was so nice and unique to be in his presence. I knew already all those feelings. Even when everything was wrong, a kindness and respect were coming from His Spirit, filling my heart with a sweet trembling. “Who am I to have all that?” – I asked myself.
- You are my daughter, - He answered my thoughts, - and you adopted me as your Father and it is quite logically that you are my daughter. But you don’t ask me questions which troubled you.
Oh yes, I had forgotten everything in his presence, but he reminded me about it to make everything clear. I learned that I really appeared in 2043. That He only reigned there and lightened everything around, that’s why the light was so bright there. And that people were quite different there, as I noticed. They were far from darkness, because they existed in His light. And if I were not able to get rid of my former communications, with my former mode of life and thoughts, if something still carried me back, I could go back. The door was not closed, because the light had gained a victory inside me, and all the attempts of darkness to overcome it wouldn’t succeed.
- Don’t hurry; everything will be all right, - He said, - but you must decide what to do.
- And how did I get here?
- You had been praying me to take you for so long time that I had to satisfy your request ahead of time.
- Does it mean that it is not a high time for me to be here?
- And what do you think?
- I don’t know.
- Do you? You know quite clear what you want.
I thought a little and again saw your face before me.
- Jeff! – The word came out of my lips.
God smiled, the light break into a grin:
- That’s why you are here. You needed him most of all. It was me who discovered him for you!
The last phrase sound quite solemnly. I suspected that but still was surprised.
- Were you? And I thought that it was my own will to be with him.
- You didn’t think so, the world made you to doubt. Love and kindness are inside him, and you dreamed about them, - the Spirit continued, - That belongs to me. He is devoted to you from the paradise, because he is here.
- How could I saw him from the world where I lived?
- But he was there, in world.
- How could I recognize him?
- You saw him in your heart. You had an enlightenment of your spirit from that very moment when you adopted the Holy Spirit. You always told that Jeff was in your heart, but you didn’t always believe yourself, and the others tried to put you out, but I was inside you, and all the answers are inside you.
The Father often reminded me about something, so that I didn’t miss anything. He was patient and attentive and read to answer all my questions, so that there wasn’t any darkness in my mind. His answers were always so clear and intelligible, that I wanted so stay with him forever. But sometimes when I didn’t still understand anything, even if the explanations were given to me, God told me: “Just trust me!” And it had become very quiet because I was in loving hand. He wasn’t in an inaccessible light any more, I was inside Him. It was very easy to communicate with Him.
- And Jeff… how long is he here? – I asked the God, who knew everything.
- From his birth from the 2000th year he is here.
- Oh, just a moment. How could it be so? He was born on another date, - I decided to argue, as I knew the date of birth of my beloved, - by the way, You have just told me that he was in the world, - it seemed that my words caught the Father in a lie. But I came to my senses, I always believed in God’s worlds, I knew that He was holy and He would explain everything.
- Jeff was in the world, but the world wasn’t inside him. I was in your beloved man; my world was in his heart, that’s why he didn’t leave that world, though he was outside of it. I gave birth to him from my Son’s sacrifice, to give you what you needed when you would be born. And you needed defense love and kind pastor.
The Father told the words very slowly, doing pauses, to let me understand the sense. I strained all my imagination to realize the God’s design, with almost mathematical exactness trying to summarize everything I heard. At last I was confused and very tired of my thought, comparisons and numerous questions inside myself. Only one thing was clear, God loved by his actions. God saw my tiredness.
- We’ll have time for conversations, - he said, - go, Jeff is waiting for you in the garden, near a fountain.
- Jeff! – I couldn’t stop my delight, a new wave of joy poured on me. The light separated like a veil and a great unbelievable area was opened before me; there were beautiful green houses and an unusual fountain in the centre. I thanked the God for that long-awaited and still unexpected happiness and stepped ahead.
You were really there, just near the fountain, though I couldn’t call so that construction at the first glance. It was a round pool, and in the centre there was a big column made of white stone. It was rising high up, and at the very top of that column there was a glass polyhedral sphere. And water was falling from that height; or it would be more right to say: it was streaming very unusually at an angel. It was surprisingly that the noise of the fountain wasn’t heard. A great road had to be heard in that case. I noticed girls over the sphere; they were like nymphs. It was impossible, but they were flying. I would have been standing for a long time, being amazed by that unprecedented sight, but you had looked at me and smiled. Your smile was the most wonderful in the world. You were shining too, and your light attracted me. I ran down stairs towards you and stopped in two steps in front of you. It was the first time that I was so near to you. Patches of the streaming water were playing on your face; your eyes were shining like two bright stars. You were my cherished dream, and the Father knew it!
You stepped forward to me and said:
- Hello!
You voice was trembling so lovely. May be it was because of the kindness that God presented to you and because of your love that He promised me, but I loved you wholly. Timbre of your voice, the light of your bright eyes, which excited me so much, quivering of your alive soul, your sensual lips, perfect arms, body and wonderful jerky movements were attracting me and I pressed to your breast, closing my eyes and enjoying beating of your heart. The water in the fountain was streaming along the facets of thin glass and created the vision of a waterfall. And due to its construction it didn’t muffle sounds of nature and beating inside you. Rat-tat… there was a restless motor in your chest, a temple inside you, in which God lived.