Baptism Zhivoderova inspector

Baptism Zhivoderova inspector.

Story.


Traffic policeman Simon Zhivoderov believed in God. Not that I frantically and fanatically, but still thoroughly and firmly. Of course, he did not attend the service (morning and evening), in the nearby church, but still some of the requirements and the canons of the "New Testament" to observe. For example, the obligation of fasting in Lent and painted eggs for Easter. Simon wore a cross on the body, and even several times a day to read to himself the "Our Father." Flayers was sure - when hard work and nervous faith in God is a must. Simon was just convinced that God would not allow him finally to become a sinner and forgive all the weaknesses and the main unsightly acts that he committed while on duty.
Today, the great feast of the Epiphany mood Zhivoderova been a sublime. Simon felt that when his superiors appointed to work on the river Bazaikha cordon on the outskirts of Krasnoyarsk, it is the authorities respond to the wishes of none, or whether, but of God.
Early in the morning on a divorce, Semyon explained that his main task and today, January 7, "is to ensure order in the hole on the river and vigilant and careful washing of the people controlling the process" in this same hole. Boring words of Major General of the municipal government for seeds sounded like a farewell. Flayers happy as a child, and involuntarily smiled when fat and mustachioed Major squinted suspiciously at the seeds at the briefing.
- You see, let there be no public che-Paix, just not permissible. You know yourself, our people are ready for everything. Can such Fortelle vytvorit. Each other as God namyat, then will not find it! - Major obese lazily walked along the rows in the auditorium of the city police department.
His parting words sounded a bit ominous. Personnel who are involved in the cordon, inadvertently ruffled. Inflate subordinates course is usual, but today these instructions a bit scary.
- If people in mind you pull a lot of water, then you should strongly discourage such attempts! - Major lifted his hand up and somehow picturesque pointed at the ceiling.
- What does a chur much? - Said a voice from the hall.
Major looked displeased at the middle of the hall, where the question was made:
- After much mind you this is when a man can not steal! You see, who be tank or canister itself can not afford take, come and politely say, should be left to national capacity, will come later. Another time!
- Yeah, but if a person can still drag? Well, for example, on a sled?
Silly question finally angered major.
- What there sled? With one sled to the hole is not allowed! We still did not have enough, no matter what, went sledding! I repeat only on foot and with plastic containers! Iron cans and bottles cut off! With easy dishes! With easy! You see, the cans and bottles because they can only aggravate! Make the situation worse! Most of the water then pick up, please! Please, and during official prayers that would, no, no! There are no jars and cans! All liter on two - three score and gave out! In the neck! Water enough for everyone today! So that there are no large jars and cans!
Personnel who are involved in the event, dutifully sniffed. Ask more questions not like. Major stately shook his head and frowned and shouted:
- Well, let's comrades, to your places! In places and that everything was wisely and according to the ordinance?
Baptism this year as never dawned frosty. In the morning the thermometer sank dejectedly to thirty-seven frost. Of course, winter in Siberia and so cold, but it's Epiphany Week has always been particularly fierce, but today was the coldest in the winter.
Semen was driving behind the wheel of the service "Nine" on the streets of Krasnoyarsk and pretty smile, the people were ever enough. Rare pedestrians hurried soles squeaking on the snow, trying as quickly whisk in the warm porches, shops and offices. Flayers hurry. He wanted to drive as fast as possible to the place of the cordon, that would be there to catch people as little as possible.
Bazaikha River in Krasnoyarsk, a special place and beautiful. Small and restive Bazaikha, breaking through the foothills of Sayan, pulled in his mouth to play and seemed relieved to cast their water great Yenisei. And he, not freezing because of hydropower, which is upstream, with some reluctance, sucks dark streams bazaihskoy waters.
The place where a hole punched for baptism, located almost under the road bridge road "Krasnoyarsk-Abakan". On the one hand there are hovering mountains, and on the other - the Yenisei, like washing the giant pocket, a void, which made the mouth Bazaikha particularly picturesque. Small wooden church with gold, like toy domes, nestled beside the road and looked like a sparrow on the dove-dressed wedding. Church restored a couple of years ago. Before that, the gray log building for a long time operated dry goods store.
Simon arrived at the square in front of the bridge and skillfully parked breech "nine" by the stairs with iron railing that led down to the river, slowly got out of the car. Frost immediately pounced on the cheeks and chin. Flayers pulled the big hands suede three-fingered gloves and lazily walked over to the edge of the sloping shore. Somewhere down there was visible channel Bazaikha. Icy river looked like a frozen ditch. And only in the heart sad and I could see a little ominous black cross svezhevyrublennoy hole.
Flayers around. Not a soul around. Only the side of twenty meters, a figure could be seen a single person. Simon peered into the darkness in the morning, it was his colleague, probably the district. He trampled on his feet, preventing frost finally pin down his body. Flayers policeman waved his hand and shouted:
- What one yet or what? And where are the personnel?
The guard reluctantly said:
- A clear! - Zhivoderov seriously sucked in light frosty air.
Simon quickly trotted down the stairs. Going down to the hole, he crossed himself. Black cross on the ice looked almost mystical. Dark icy water floated. Water gurgled Bazaikha somehow mysteriously under a crust of ice. Flayers knelt and styanuv mitt, put his hand in the hole. Thousands of needles stuck in the pores of the skin. The icy water stung his hand. Inspector withdrew his hand and shaking drops of water and muttered,
- God bless! God bless!
Flayers again anxiously turned. Not a soul around. So you can make plans. You can! And no one is hurt! Policeman winced and trotted briskly
back up the stairs to his company car. Drop into the salon, "nine", he sat in the passenger seat. Was quickly and frantically unbuttoning clothes. Pulled the blue uniform jacket with large white letters "DPS" on the back, and then his pants. Simon took the time and wincing pokryahtyval when it came to his jacket and shirt. He knew he should make all the fast that no one had been able to stop it or prevent it.
Flayers was eager to plunge into the hole!
He just suffered this desire last week!
Wash away sins!
Wash them immediately!
Accumulated over the year there are so many! And then, as luck would have the day before, I had to take a couple of "gifts" for a total of seven hundred rubles. Semen handouts from the drivers 'bribe' did not call on principle. The word "bribe", his scarecrow, so the money that he popped motorists on the road, he is nicknamed "offerings." Of course, Simon realized that it was a sin, a sin to take money, but do nothing with them but could not. And here today. Flayers was sure God gives him a chance to wash away all the sins that have accumulated over the year.
He was grateful to God.
When Simon was in his shorts, he again looked fearfully at the windows on the sides. No one!
- Well, good luck! - Inspector muttered to himself, and jumped out into the street.
Barefoot in shorts with draped shoulders formless pea coat he looked ridiculous. Flayers riding on ice stairs to the river, while on the run he squealing and Washing systems. Frost toasted heel and whole body.
- Oh, oh, my mother! Oh! - Simon grunted.
Once in the hole, took off his jacket Zhivoderov the snow and crossing himself, took a deep breath into the lungs. First, he wanted to dive into the water head first, but then changed his mind and shlepnuvshis buttocks on the edge of open water, lowered his legs into the black water. Another second and the whole body inspector plunged into the hole. Simon closed his eyes and began to squeal like a pig:
- Oh, my sins, sins, go away from me! God save us! God save us!
Flayers regained breath and closing his eyes and dove into the hole with the head. Simon knew the plunge into the water should three times, but otherwise sins can not be washed! Inspector squished and sticking his head, took a deep breath again, again dived. The third time his dive was the shortest. Simon put his face and was about vylazit from the hole, and suddenly! ...
Suddenly he saw there, on the edge of a steep bank, near the stairs, stood two figures.
No! No! No!
Flayers looked closer! And so it is! These were TV people! Two people, one standing near three-legged stand, which was a black camera. Its lens was designed to seed! They came to take reports of the Epiphany and got to the free show!
That's a shame!
- No! No! - Zabubnil inspector and again put his head under the water!
We had to do something!
Flayers realized that if he did not come out of the water, then pneumonia him exactly guaranteed. Simon reappeared on the water surface, and looked toward the shore. Damn TV crew filmed him and water treatment! The operator then lying eye to the viewfinder, carefully watched the lens movements inspector. Simon tensed and held his breath, jumped out of the water like a cork from a champagne bottle. Lonely lying near the hole jacket, treacherously glowed in large letters "DPS". Flayers grabbed an armful of uniform and that there are forces ran up the stairs toward the damned TV men, after all
He had no other way to patrol "nine" were behind the crew. The operator removes this race. Simon understood run in shorts will close with the camera. But there was nothing.
One, two three!
Flayers trotted down the stairs. When he caught up with broadcasters, hard-bitten reporter who was standing next to the operator, slyly smiled, handed the microphone and asked the seeds on the go:
- What sin is washed away?
Flayers pushed the annoying journalist and in three bounds was at the "Nine". But here it got a nasty surprise. Standing next to the car ... he's fat and mustachioed major from the municipal government and sternly looked at the seeds.
Flayers guilty smile and a glance at his bare feet, frightened bellowed:
- That you know, a little swim...
- I see! - Angrily replied the major. - So, the sins washed off! So! Tomorrow, or rather, in the news today show how traffic cops with their bare asses in the hole dive! So! What's the name?
- Zhivoderov, - nearly cried Simon.
- Zhivoderov! Surname, then one beastly! Okay, Zhivoderov you here was to break up the machine, but for the fact that water treatment thought arrange, go down to the hole, order direct! Restrain the crowd going! Got it?
- Understand - said quietly Simon.
Major looked at shiver inspector and snapped
- March of the car dressed! In five minutes, which would stand down at the hole!
Semen hardly put on his own clothes. A long time to get their feet in leg trousers, calves cramped so cold, that they refused to obey the commands of the brain. Teeth knocked out drumming. Flayers started the car and turned on the oven at full power.
Although, with grief in half, managed to get dressed, Simon quite wilted. And not because he's got major. The main thing was that the worst "punishment" of the Comptroller of the mustachioed city management "control crowd at the hole," really could not think of anything. It was really harsh. Normally allocated for this purpose from the youngest staff members patrol, sergeants and privates. And then, he Semen Zhivoderov, policeman, Inspector, besides Lieutenant, should keep the arms extended inhabitants, whatever they did not go over the line cordon! No! Definitely this spoiled all major baptism! Simon was not himself!
Five minutes later Zhivoderov sadly walked to the hole. Passing the stubborn TV crews who witnessed his shame, Simon somehow contrived quietly spat in the direction of the camcorder. Correspondent, was standing nearby, did not notice it, and even kindly asked
- How Vodicka (water), then? Cold?
- And you yourself, then do not you think? - Simon snapped.
But the journalist was not offended, he winked your service and showed the side, going down the stairs Zhivoderova, extended index finger. It is understandable mood of TV was good, "remove" a policeman is bathed in the hole, was hit, and when will the story in the "news" viewers will laugh heartily, and this is a good rating!
Down at the hole, a crowd several people. One of them was the same nasty obese major from management. Twilight slowly receded. Decrepit January sun tries to break through its rays from dark clouds, at the very tops of the surrounding mountains. Major Zhivoderova met, as an old friend, and even smiled slightly in his thick, black mustache.
- A gidrogaishnik (road policeman lover water)! Well, well! Since you love water treatments here's the first job! Meet and see that now bring divers here! Saw to it that there would be all right! No one so far to not let the hole! And so, you will help the Cossacks! - Major nodded at the two men, that they pushed around.
Only now, Simon saw that it was not the police. Two tall man dressed in a soldier's uniform coat. Epaulettes on shoulders, one army officers, on a blue background made the way a large red stripe, the second captain, but without the asterisks. Handmade hats on heads of sheep wool, small roundels. Both of the Cossacks, the legs were dressed, white boots. The one that was in the form of an officer, pushed for greater shank whip. Flayers displeasure examined aides sternly barked Major:
- Why diver got to do?
- Why? You were on parade! Not heard, I told you. Now here come the big guests, members of the regional parliament, the city council! Maybe even the mayor! Any foreigners! Here it is necessary to examine the bottom, you never know what?
- Why is the bottom-examine? They that walk ... on the bottom will be?
- What are you? Who knows what? Suddenly leg of what may be, snags injure! In general, meet the diver, and see what would anybody here superfluous, and these here Cossacks help! - Major again nodded at people in hats.
The men came to life. The one that was with Sergeant stripes, smiled ingratiatingly and exhaling party vodka-Fume garlic breath, busily shouted:
- It's okay to Comrade Major!
Flayers again looked at this upstart in black sheepskin hat. Simon had to consider that the shoulder straps on the Cossack coats were sutured loosely and crooked. Somehow, red thread, over the edge, big ties. Immediately evident, this person has never served in the military, so it's careless manner.
Flayers Cossacks did not like him, they seemed "mummers." Besides always half drunk, they just shouted "patriotic nonsense", trying to sound important and significant others. Simon winced and looked away. Cossacks felt like disregard traffic cop, walked away and began to pull at the shore red ribbon.
Ten minutes down the stairs heavily walked diver. Behind, for him was an assistant who was carrying yellow balloons and flippers. The diver was wearing a black suit. Thrown over the top coat. He was holding a glove. On the neck, his assistant, hung a large ball of orange rope.
Diver looked hard at the Cossacks, they can see it too did not like and reached seed:
- Oleg my name, I will examine the bottom. Look, when the dive, that would all there gaper to the edge of the hole did not pass! The point is dangerous!
- No, no, - assured Simon.
The inspector looked at the high bank, and saw that there was already a pretty people. People were standing with cans and tins. Forty people gazed down at the hole. While the crowd did not cause concern, as they were mostly old women and older women. A dozen patrol, confidently shouting, do not let the inhabitants of the red tape stretched along the shore.
The sun finally crept over the mountain. Daylight.
Diver deftly threw his coat and sat down on the edge of the hole, pulled the leg flippers. His assistant wrapped his waist with a rope and threw a bunch of the snow, stood in a pose Burlaka holding orange tape. Flayers with curiosity, like a diver slowly sinking into the hole. Black ice water hid his body and only small bubbles, ran across the surface.
Simon turned around and saw that the next five meters from the hole, some people set up the tents. Policeman rushed to the uninvited guests:
- Who missed what you are doing?
- A lieutenant, hey, do not you see for VIP tent set. They will be there to undress and then after washing will want to drink brandy. So that the TV people have not seen. MPs will be there in tent trapeznichat! - Cheerfully replied one of the men, pulling on the rope to the edge of the red tent.
Flayers only sighed and said nothing. He understood and then some have privileges. Simon looked around and was surprised! People for a few minutes greatly increased and accumulated already much. The entire perimeter of the red ribbon stretched crowd of several hundred, if not more than a thousand people. Before the ceremony the left over an hour. If so it goes beyond the crowd with cordon not hold Zhivoderov understood.
As if reading his mind, the most impatient of the congregation, went on the offensive. Shouts:
- Head. Give me some water to dial, then an old woman, give me water!
- Hey, let me go to the hole, Lieutenant!
- Dial and all!
Simeon guard and then he saw that the two, like that of the Cossacks, added helpers. The entire perimeter of the red tape barrage swarmed yet thirty in Cossack uniform. People in the hat, and then snapping whips and shouted to the crowd:
- Well, do not cross the line!
- What is your water? Well, it has not yet consecrated!
- Here comes my father, then at least zaleytes (Pour at least how many), buys. In the meantime, as well!
- Get out of line!
Although there is the use of "entertainers" - rather Zhivoderov sighed.
But glad he had not long. After a few minutes somewhere behind his back, like a fairy tale, shows three busty women. Simon was surprised and perplexed looking at half-naked aunts, dressed only in colorful swimsuits. Women, playfully smiling cops, busily spread a towel on the snow boots and started to shoot. Naked body flushed in the cold.
Flayers frightened, scared cried
- And, what's that? Who let? A? Who are they?
- And we are out of the club kreofil (a lover of cold), walruses us! We are allowed! We were allowed to swim first! We quickly Lieutenant! That's dive and all!
- Come on! Stop it! Stop it! Here a diver! - Simon shouted and pushed one of my aunts in the shoulder.
She was offended and pouting cast:
- Just think diver! He did not rape me tea!
Two of her friends rolled laughter. Flayers taken aback by such impudence. However, one of the Walrus cleverly yurknuv (slid) under his arm Seeds gracefully dived into the hole. Keep the rope assistant diver who oversaw the weight this time dive from such impudence was stunned:
- Did she? What does?
But forty years as a mermaid, there is nothing, not used to flounder about in the middle of a cruciform hole. Her friends too rushed shrieking into the water. Assistant diver screamed as cut:
- A! Help the Lieutenant! They confuse the rope now and already gone! Without raising my partner!
Simon was at a loss for a few seconds. Then, not knowing what to do, for some reason he ran up to the assistant diver and also grabbed the rope. Flayers pulled the orange tape and yelled:
- Let's pull! Pull!
But Assistant diver only pushed seeds. Inspector tripped and fell into the snow. At this time, the hole in the middle of the flounder aunts surfaced diver. Through the glass of his mask to be seen - a man survived a real stress.
Swimming, morzhihi (Bathers in the icy water) ended as abruptly as it began. They deftly jumped out of the hole and quickly put on boots, disappeared among all the growing crowd.
Diver, if not strange, swear not. Besides his dives were successful. For three dive he can get off the bottom of the river rusty ax, muffler from "Lada" and some cast-iron disc. These findings, he carefully laid out near the hole, as if showing off their work and briskly walked away with a sense of accomplishment. Assistant trotted him, dragging himself on cylinders, rope and wet fins
Half an hour later Simon finally scared. The crowd was growing. Cossacks and about twenty policemen patrol could hardly contain her quivering. People now and then would try to break through the cordon. Rushed elite abuse, mat mixed with curses.
Simon breathed heavily. He saw that not far beneath the bridge, especially impatient citizens have already begun to cut another, alternative hole. And they succeeded in this with great success. Cheers were heard voices. And all this happened in front of the crowd unhappy. Flayers realized that if we do not begin service crowd simply crumple cordon and what will happen, only God knows.
It took another half an hour. Fortunately, somewhere above, bounty suffering citizens of holy water, the voices of the choir. Low baritone singing prayers. Simon realized that started the solemn liturgy. And it was just what we needed. Flayers relieved.
The crowd, which stood near the stairs was involuntarily move aside. The steps slowly and majestically down, there was a church procession. At its head was moving a low priest with goat beard. But his nondescript appearance heckled attire - a bright yellow-white robe with gold. Golden miter on his head.
Priest named Father Nicholas. True to many citizens, he was known as a drunk and foul-mouthed. A "famous" Father Nicholas, when involved in an accident on his SUV. He rammed any passenger car and everything would be fine, no one was hurt, but when the traffic police arrived, it turned out that the priest in the board drunk. He yelled and mother so that inspectors flushed ears. And how on earth was going to happen, that it was at this time by the film crew drove one of the city broadcasters. She then took off her father Nicholas rampage throughout the city, and showed in the evening news. So Father Nicholas became known throughout the Krasnoyarsk.
It is true today, it looked decent, low voice sang a prayer and fervently waving incense. Service, he spent near the hole itself. Around him priests and sextons kept some icons and horungii (Cossack sergeant). A crowd of parishioners and all the onlookers just squeezed tighter ring, stepping to the hole. In standing next to the priest Nicholas Zhivoderov people suddenly recognized several members of regional and municipal level. Thick and important, they are also anxiously baptized and looked askance at all compressible circle crowd inhabitants. The townspeople came to the liturgy of baptism with the harvested container. Many in the hands sticking plastic bottles, cans and other miscellaneous dishes. While howling choir, police and Cossacks, standing in a cordon, as they could repel particularly zealous fans baptismal waters. All waited with hope when Father Nicholas lowered his large gold cross in the hole and read the main prayers of the holy celebration of baptism. But the priest pulled. He loudly and puffing, continuing
sing. This went on for another twenty minutes. And then, finally kneeling and lifting miter, Father Nicholas leaned polynya (water in the hole), muttered something, and three times the cross dipped into the black water. Swept over the crowd roar of relief and began to move the crowd in anticipation of water extraction.
But this sounded nasty and raucous voice of a man amplified megaphone. Flayers looked away and found the place where swept over the heads of the speech. This was the same mustachioed major, he pressed his lips to a megaphone, diligently saying:
- Comrades who believe! Take your time! Please note that withdrawals will be implemented after a group of believers will be able to bathe in the hole! This means, first to the hole will podpuschu citizens who wish to plunge into the water, and only secondarily to the hole will be admitted by those who want to get water! Fellow believers! Most asked to maintain order and not put pressure on the cordon! All water is enough! Fellow believers, please observe the order and priority! We hope for your consciousness!
The crowd roared with displeasure. But the rush to the police and Cossacks no one. All were watching with curiosity, who was very zealous and climb through the hole?
Flayers also pulled up and looked around. The movement started near the red tent. It dived several MPs and senior officials of the town hall. Next to a tent set our tripods TV crew. Several crews began persistently poke their lenses in different directions. After a couple of minutes out of the tent appeared naked (in shorts) deputies. They huddled uncertainly on the edge hole. Sassy correspondents, their microphones shoved under his nose people's choices, interviewing just before the holy bath. MPs proudly talked about their beliefs and feelings surging understanding of the Orthodox faith.
All this pathos phrases and hear Simon Zhivoderov. He was standing just a few meters from the hole. And then, when naked and frozen deputies and officials became unbearable, the correspondents took pity and let him dip into the hole. This was the signal for a bath. The first hole in the ice collapsed the thickest member Regional Legislative Assembly. True, before the plunge into the water, for some reason he crossed himself a Catholic. Often and pinch nerve leading to his hairy belly, he waved off the sign of the cross is not from right to left and from left to right. Flayers guess is someone just "drawn" and wants to get "into the camera." Semen was suddenly disgusted. Following this, a deputy in the water reached a municipality official. Simon on his back had time to see the marks of its recently cans. Black spot bruise like marks domino adorned the white and oily skin official. This man quickly dropped into the water and squealing, made three dives, plunging head.
VIP dive lasted about ten minutes. And here is the last guest of honor left the hole and dropped into the red tent, where a suspected Semen bathe MPs and officials have already drank brandy, warming my insides.
But that was not important, because as the hole began the most important thing. Were ordered to remove the cordon and the black cross, cut through the ice, rushed to ordinary people. The crowd stirred. The snow flew clothes. Sounded louder mate choice. In the water, flopped naked body. Multicolority of shorts and swimsuits dazzled eyes. People fell in Bazaikha and yelled with delight. Someone sang a song, someone bellowed prayer. Chaos and hustle was avoided only because the top, at the beginning of the iron ladder on which all interested and down, the cordon was still working. Police and Cossacks held back pressure remaining residents stayed on the top floor.
Flayers looked to the right and saw the priest Nicholas and his entourage did not have time to release the lower court. The priests were cut off, and the crowd pressed the fence of the coastal area. Parishioners pressured dressed in yellow robes of the priests and dragged him to his hands. Simon saw in the eyes of his father Nicholas genuine horror. Shouted the priest, waving a cross:
- You're doing the devils?! You're doing the devils?!
But no one heard. Flayers rushed to the aid of his father Nicholas. But to get through the crowd of several subway was almost unreal. Then Simeon came to mind the terrible and daring idea. He is sharply bent and felt rusty muffler under the feet of the "Lada", the one that caught a diver from the bottom of the hole. Lifting a heavy piece of iron over his head, yelled Zhivoderov wild cries and rushed to the people surrounding the poor father of Nicholas. By the way he saw a wild look Zhivoderova face, the priest was scared even more. But, despite this, to achieve the main goal of Simeon still managed. The crowd was taken aback by the "wild cop" with a silencer in his hand and flinching receded. Inspector rudely shoved a couple of people and shouted:
- Come on, Make way! Skip father Nicholas! Miss his service!
It is not strange, but people swarmed through the hole, a second silent and motionless, watching Zhivoderov like hostages, takes out a string of environment ministers. They Semen small steps, as prisoners of war, and went to the stairs, quickly ran to her up the steep bank. What happened to the people in yellow robes, Simon did not see. Meanwhile he threw the muffler in the snow at the fence, and how there is nothing, never was, stood with his legs apart.
Meanwhile Epiphany bathing in the water was coming to its climax. Hole literally boiled from the spray and body motion. Heard: squeal and laugh, wailing and cursing. People like wild, tearing off his clothes and rushed headlong into the black water. Flayers saw three men dragged the hands of a man. Simon had time to see that, in the hands of this trio is puny old man in shorts. He squirmed and shouted something. On the head of an elderly rider was wearing a soldier's ear flaps with a badge. When the company came up, Simon heard that trying to convey to others naked old man:
- I hotsit become nastoyasshim ruuusskim chelovekom! (this Russian man)- He screamed with an accent.
Flayers realized that the trio has to swim under the ice of a foreigner.
- Look, look it's American! It's American! - Shouted near tipsy skinny guy.
- He yesterday with them in the bath drunk, so now they will bathe him! - Echoed neighbor chubby quite drunk man. - He shouted yesterday, I'll be in the hole with a head dive! Here they are now, and his dive! His mother! Look out! Look out! He came here with some not Virginia, not with a Virginia! Horseradish understand in general! Snow never seen amerikosy damn! Siberian Get some water! - Gleefully squealed pyantyzhka (drunkard).
Meanwhile, American roughly thrown into the water. Soldier's hat flew off his bald head and the waves zabultyhalas hole. American instantly sobered up and grabbed the ladder, tried to get out of the ice water. But one of the men, casually pushed his foot alien in the chest and cried
- We have made three times dip! Wan! (One)The one Free! - He said American tourist, and showed that it is necessary once again to dive into the water.
Ablution over brotherly kiss. Guest from overseas pulled from the hole in his arms and putting his nose under the glass of vodka and ordered a drink:
- Become a true Russian! Good! - American men cheered.
- Drink, drink is not that Russian, Siberian, this will be! Come on, Go! Gow! - Shouted from nowhere who had taken elderly aunt, who shook their plump breasts over his head quite okolevshego (frozen) foreigner.
- I know how to drink Plekhov (poorly)! - Tried to justify Intourist, but heavy hairy hand literally parted his lips and poured vodka into his mouth.
American coughed. Someone shoved into his mouth pickle. Then, shaky foreign body, again raised his arms and wrapped in a sheepskin coat and dragged him away.
Flayers looked at it with wide eyes. Simon stood and could not understand why people are so frenzy? A Mezhuyev order to the hole began to miss up to those who just wanted to get water. Citizens with tanks like a river flowed down the stairs.
Those who bathed in the hole, flying bottles and jars:
- Pour some water, hey you're a man in green shorts! Come on! Dial grandmother baptismal some water!
- Hey, my aunt in a blue bathing suit, me, me kanistrochku dial!
The water prevailed chaos. The men and women, swimming, presses against the stomachs plastic bottles and tried to drown along with his body. Someone threw a bucket. Someone dipped cans. Seethe hole bubbles. All mixed up - bare feet and colored pants, white hair and flushed baldness.
- Oh, good!
- Ouch! God save us!
- Where are you going?! Fuck!
- More pyatilitrovku (five cans litrovtsy)! More! I am his mother to take it!
The crowd advancing. Flayers went to the river, which abuts the fence. Simon knew a little more and it crushed. Inspector grabbed the fence and climbed up on fence. Suddenly, somewhere behind him there was a loud cracking sound. Then roared a hundred voices. Some confusion and the crowd stirred, drained back. Simon, tried to see what happened. It turned out that the edge of the hole could not stand the pressure and broke down. Several people right in the clothes fell into the water. Somewhere away pitifully sirens of fire trucks and ambulances. Flayers saw that on the opposite bank of the crowd began to dissect the policemen. In helmets and black jackets with shields at the ready, they vexed people with cans away from the river. Simon closed his eyes and muttered:
- God forgive us, God forgive our sinful souls! I'm sorry!
A minute later he made his way through the surrounding gardens for his "nine." Wet panties rubbing in the groin, but Simon did not pay attention to it. In the patrol car was waiting for him, no one may be, and "old friend", a corpulent major from management with a megaphone at his side. Mustached officer, seeing the disheveled Zhivoderova joyfully exclaimed:
- Oh, oh, how do you time! Urgently take me to use! I will write the memo! I will deal with all of this mess! I called the boss! Saw, saw that the cattle have done? Bastards! Here you bastards! Libertad! But you, as your freedom is coming out! Here's how! Baptism fuck! Collected some water!
Major tried to open the door, "nine", but Zhivoderov ran to him and tore threw the megaphone in a snowdrift. Then Simon grabbed Major's shoulders, turned and that there are forces kicked into the large buttock. Mustache, screamed and fell face in the snow. Flayers turned around and sat down in the "nine". Started the engine and warming it, the car drove away.

The next day, Lieutenant Simon Zhivoderov wrote a report on the dismissal.