Impossible to escape from what is within us (anonymous)
Every day we were walking in the park and talking, talking and talking. Sometimes it was too cold and i used to freeze, but i didn't want to tell him. I didn't want to ruin the beautiful moment. I felt he was in love with me. I knew it, it's called intuition.
I began to spend more hours at his place, i was confused and shy, coz i didn't want his mum to think bad about me. I tried to behave myself the best way, i was washing a cup after drinking tea. And always offered my help, i asked her about the things she was fond of (actually i was fond of them too, so it wasn't lie from my side).
I didn't want to lie, but every time Sunny or his mum asked me about my future plans, i had no clue what to answer. I knew my furute plans, they were so clear for me, but it had been so easy before i met my Sunny. Now I realized, that those plans didn't include my relationships with Sunny, and i didn't have plan B. Everything was so amazing and my plans about MBA were the big fat fly in the ointment.
Every time they asked me about plans i felt like i had a goose-skin, I wished i could tell him, but i was afraid. I was afraid of misunderstanding, of loosing him! And i tried to put off this horrible conversation for as long as it's possible. But at the same time i wish i had no secrets.
When I 've told my girls that I was thinking of staying with him, they were so happy. They didn't want me to enter the MBA program. They didn't want me to leave them.They haven't met my Sunny yet, but they've already liked him. He was the first guy, whom my girls liked, so i was twice happy. Coz the worst thing which can happen is the mutual abhorrence of friends and boyfriend.
Everything was perfect, I had perfect friends, i had perfect love, perfect relations, perfect situation. Oh, I adore my life!!!
Every evening before going to sleep i thanked God for such a great opportunity of being so happy. I believed, i knew that one day he lets me be happy.
They say, people think about God only when they are unhappy, But i was thankful!
We understood each other even without words, me and my Sunny. Once he was driving, i was sitting next to him, the 'Poets of the Fall - Where we draw the line' was on the the CD. And during the sond he said: "lets don't draw the line". I said that i'd wish so, and i was not gonna let this line appear.
The lyrics from this song are still on my brain:
So why don't we join the masquerade?
Before it falls apart,
Before our love becomes insatiate
What does tomorrow want from me?
What does it matter what I see
If I can't choose my own design
Tell me where do we draw the line
I'm not tired to repeat that i was the happiest person in the world!!! I had everything i could dream about and even everything i was afraid to dream about.
Every evening he came to see me and wished good night, EVERY day, E-V-E-R-Y, I know you are jealous, Yeah,please, be jealous, coz it's what every girl is dreaming about.
That's kinda weird for a bitch to be happy because the guy she likes is soooooooooooo cute.
Jesus!!! How wrong i was. I'm not a bitch, i'm not heartless!!! I just needed time to meet my Mr.Right!!!