One night The Virgin decided to stop by the seafood restaurant. She saw a lobster in the fish tank. She wanted him badly right away, pointing her long innocent finger at his claws.
The waiter brought live Lobster to The Virgin and made introductions. The Lobster glanced at The Virgin with his tiny cloudy eyes and used his bony claws to show something small and insignificant.. maybe his life, which was pretty insignificant, and threatening to become shorter by the minute..
The Virgin desired the Lobster even more.. What an unfamiliar feeling.. but so sweet! The Lobster on the other hand wanted to leave the table and find the body of water, as soon as possible. Their wishes, obviously, didn't match.. The Lobster shook his whiskers and moved his impressive tail from side to side. He didn't know where the nearest sea was.. The Virgin wasn't sure about anything anymore.. he was to become a first lobster in her previously lobster-less life.. Just look at his amazing structure!
The virgin trembled with an unusual feeling, excitement rising.. Finally she decided - the Lobster will be her first! The Virgin read a lot of romantic culinary books and knew that the first experience is very important, she didn't want to ruin her love for lobsters in the future.. she expressed her wish for the Lobster to be gently prepared. While the helpless Lobster was being cooked to perfection, the Virgin was preparing herself for her first gentle lobster..
The waiter eventually brought the Lobster, the magnificent, red-hot and gentle, and the Virgin was knocked out by his wonderful aroma and forgot about her own wish to make the first savouring special.. She grasped his claws and finished him in seconds, eyes and whiskers and all.. Let's just say, that it wasn't a pretty picture... Right before the Virgin left, she slid the Lobster's pimply and smelly armoire into her purse.
When the Virgin was having her friends over, they were using what was left of the Lobster as an ashtray.. Everybody thought it was very liberal and unusual and decadent.. The Virgin always put out her cigarette right in a middle of her Lobster with such force, that it worried her friends.. Glassy-eyed, she'd suddenly stop smiling.
(translated from Russian by Aquatrel Ra http://www.proza.ru/2005/06/01-31)