(c) Shumil, translated by Mat(Mat@diadem.ws)
The lonely Dragon.
My habit to indulge myself into rather abstract thoughts while airborne would most probably land me in the hot water one day. To tell the truth I do have some reason to suspect, it did land me on some really hard place once already. Nevertheless while I do exist, I am thinking. Or was it other way around? Never mind.
So, why my very existence is impossible? First of all, it brakes the laws of nature. With the wingspan of some thirty four feet, I shouldn't be able to get my twelve thousand pounds airborne. But I fly. So I may fly. Lets take it for granted. What do you think I am doing right now, in any case? But then I have to make well over 200 MPH. I should land on over 170 MPH, like some supersonic fighter. And here I am, hovering as only a helicopter might. And why do I know of the supersonic fighters in the world that doesn't expect to see em any time soon? Well, lets not get too far afield. The source of the knowledge comes third. Biology is the second concern. Physics is the first priority. There, dead ahead, some physical event is expected. Bye bye electrostatics and welcome electrodynamics. With some rain and some thunder too. But more importantly - the lightning. Should it hit me, I'll break no laws any more. Down I'll come, freshly fried, with the appetizing crust all over. Some thousand feet to go. Or about 330 yards. Or 300 meters, if you do prefer the metric system. Do elephants fly? Just show me the flying elephant - and I'll eat my own tail!
Biologically, I am the only dragon in this world. One of the kind. Excellently adjusted to the environment at that. The best - and let the modesty make a nice trip to hell. And the last one. Non violent, but armed and armored. I may break his backbone for an elephant with the single touch of my tail. I may gore a rhino. Or bite right through a hippos throat. And I am an omni. I really like to help myself to some dry wood. I may graze, even as I don't find the activity enjoyable. The raw meat - now, that's something I don't like. And to build fire every time is just too much of a bother. The dry birch tastes good just as it is. Nothing fits. Feet, hands and wings. Whoever got wings does manage with the pair of paws usually. Double specialization of the teeth. And even the grazing vegetarian doesn't actually devour the dry wood. They may chaw through it, they may sharpen their teeth on it - that's all. Well, they may not eat it, but I do. I do have a nice set of horns goring with the angle I choose at will. May be some snakes do have rotating teeth, but its a far cry from rotating horns. Otherwise, my horns would make a honor to any self respecting vegetarian. As my eyeteeth would any predator. However, I do own both. It make no sense, not really. As to the vision, predators do see at some 180% - dead ahead. The vegetarian seas all 360% around. I manage with some 270% degrees vision. My forepaws make an armored fists, if I wish so. Or hoofs if you like. Opened with the claws extended they would make a lion envy. Opened with the claws hidden its just a hand. I didn't hear about anything like it. I don't think it could naturally evolve. May be the cats... Where do they hide their claws? I should look at them more closely sometime. Damn the cats. Wings. The birds and the bats did evolved their forepaws into the wings. And I do have them just as a handy addition to my set of extremities. Right between the standard ones. Like some gryphon. But its just a made up heraldic animal. Invented by humans. So, who did invent me? And produced. Just a single copy. Not an evolution, surely. It prefers mass production. Its famous for it, really. I am just too good for it. To many thought invested. To many laws of nature I do break. So I am designed. And built. Say, once upon a time, there were a gathering of some for wizards-developers. One build the backbone. The second grown the flesh. The third one covered the result by skin. The forth breathed the life. Then, I got up and helped myself. To all the four, so it seems. And didn't even cared to ask some question beforehand. Why did they cared to design me, for once. But than, may be I did. But forgotten the answer, when crashed into that rock. The theory sounds plausible, but I seem to recall hearing it somewhere. And it have an inherent flaw. The wizards are no more - and no more dragons expected. Not a single one more. No females. Lets hope, I didn't dine, after all. In that case I just have to find the genetic engineers and provide them with the raw materials. And what if they won't be all that willing? Do they see the dragons as the treat to the very existence of the human kind? Did I really have an accident? Wasn't it a suicide attempt? Maybe, I just heat the rock at the wrong angle. Even than, it could be fatal enough. That creak saved my life. That, and my regeneration rate. Who would imaging I am so hard to kill. Like ten cats. No. It doesn't explain all the facts. It doesn't explain anything. Its a damned pice of poetry, nothing more. To hell with it.
Hey, cool down, you, the hoofed relative of birds. Please, do speak out your thoughts, but don't forget to think over whatever you are telling. Now the rain is starting. Would I get wet evenly, or just rained upon? If you don't know what you shall do, do try to do something clever, kind and lasting, they say. What would that be in practical terms? Should I fertilize some bush over there? Or just to water it? From the air. In any case it doesn't seem to be in real need for water, growing in the swamp as it is. Lets try to relax and to think positively. Or to dwell on something pleasant at least. Here is some rather beautiful lightning. Well, now I don't seems to be able to see anything at all. Never mind, it isn't something lasting. Here we are, the grass is green once more and the birds are singing. Or are my ears ringing? A horse! Right in the swamp... Isn't it drowning? This short fallow ashore - its probably the owner. Here is an excellent opportunity to do something nice. How to get hold on it? Just to put my claws to work. And what exactly would we have here? A rather mangled pice of meat. Almost a steak.
Now I am hovering over the poor thing. Let me have my tail around it and half the job is done. The dirt splashes in all directions from the wind my wings do rise. I do see nothing. Its a serious design flaw. The simplest car may clean its windows.
I am falling into the swamp besides the horse. Not in the swamp exactly. My forepaws are on the firm ground, at least. My claws anchored me and to pull myself out of the swamp is easy. The tail feels some thrashing from the horse. Then it became still. Don't worry, nobody is going to eat you. On the other hand, the master may bring you some grass. I reached a clearing at last and put the horse down. Its backbone is broken. The front paws moves and the rear is still. Its eyes are big with pain. Here goes the rescue operation... Its always pays to do the thinking before the action. I led a peaceful life. I didn't hurt humans and they didn't try to hurt me. At least this last year. The past is something of a mystery. And now the word would spread. The evil dragon slaw the horse. May be, ate its owner too. One never know with hearsay. Or nice dragon helps peasants. Now, that may be an ugly turn. The evil dragon shall be killed. There are always some knights for the job. Knights would love the chance to get the fame of the Dragon Slayer. To protect the peasants is their duty, but it sounds too pedestrian for their taste. And the nice dragon may be captured and caged. To inspire the envy and fear in the neighbors.
By the way, there is my peasant? Gone to spread the word? And whats I am supposed to do with the horse? But here he is. To hide behind the trees was rather prudent, but what is doing with that axe? Did he mistake me for a tree? What he is waiting for? He doesn't seams too intent on the attack, after all. So, who's the fool? He just tried to cut some branches and free the horse, when I frightened him away. Enough. I may hardly delay the contact any more.
- Hey, you! Come here! (Did that sound lordly enough?)
So far it works. At least he comes shily and stops some 5 meters from me. Is he actually trembling? I don't see it, but he should.
- Whats your name?
- Tit the Big Mouth, sir Dragon.
Thats the start. But what did I decide? Am I the kind or the evil dragon? Lets try for the evil one.
- Tell the people: the dragon get the horse out of the swamp, but didn't cared to eat the carrion. Do repeat.
- Yes, sir Dragon. The Lucia was so frightened by the sight of the sir Dragon, that she jumped into the swamp and stacked there. When the sir Dragon get to her, she was dead already, so he didn't eat her.
Lucia - what a name for a horse! And my peasant really does have a big mouth, which size is well surpassed by the size of his imagination still. The horse was running toward me, not the other way. Nevertheless, his story sounds even better for it. The dragon should inspire terror by his very presence.
- You may leave.
Why is he here still? He tries to wipe the tears with his dirty hands and makes some signs.
- Do speak out.
- Sir Dragon, Lucia is suffering. She should be put down. Don't you see, she's in pain...
The horse isn't thrashing any more. She's panting. Would her wounds be fatal for me? No way. But she isn't me. Would he behead her with his axe? No, he is waiting for my permeation. And he's spreading the dirt all over his face. Is he weeping? Well, as I broke the backbone, its my duty to finish the job.
It didn't took a minute, I just stop the flaw of blood to her brains with my tail.
- If I may ask you a question, sir Dragon? If you aren't going to it her, would you be so kind as to let me take her skin?
I don't seem to inspire the proper fear. Is he used to speak with the dragons? It may be not so unusual to speak with a dragon around here, after all. But then, there should be some other dragons. I should question him further. Its better not to let him realize the importance of the issue for me, or... What would happen otherwise? Why I don't have the diplomatic education? Lets make him busy, it won't hurt in any case.
Curt gesture with my tail allows him to skin the horse.
- Thank you, sir Dragon.
The fellow gets to the job at hand. Lucia... The strange name of the horse provides a neutral opening.
- The horse... Lucia?
- Yes sir. She looked rather like the mistress of sir Bloodwill. That was brought as a captive from one of his campaigns. Waiting for ransom, or so he said. As if she ever got a money for a pair of shoes... The rich folk wears shoes, so they trample the earth with each step. But she glides. Sure sign, she used to walk barefooted. To make his wife's back a bit more flexible, sir Bloodwill timed his arrival just before the dawn. Lady Bloodwill was fast asleep and didn't manage to put on her chastity belt in time. Just as her husband expected. What lady would actually put up with that contraption for more, than a couple of days at time, if that. To put it on before the arrival of the husband, thats the trick. The lock may well brake and need a replacement, or she may have a chest with the key, that fits the lock... but who cares, if the belt is on at the right time? But now, it wasn't. The lord called his wife a whore and sulked away with Lucia.
Good Lord, the man is sick! He shit words and just won't stop. Bloodwill. Bloody Bill. Bloody Bill - the Dragon Slayer. That got a ring to it! But my peasant isn't a fool, after all. He notices the small details and makes his deduction. Some countryside Sherlock Holmes, thats what we have here.
- But there isn't more cunning bitch, than the lady Bloodwill in the whole world. She kept her had as low as any mouse - for the couple of weeks. Just bidding her time. And when even serves started to grumble, she had the Lucia 's leaps cut off for her. And that was it. Sir Bloodwill wouldn't look at her and she doesn't show her nose from the kitchen.
Here is one nice simple lifestyle. But how Lucia the horse got onto the swamp in the first place. Did I see some kind of wagon from the air?
- Don't you strain your sight, sir Dragon. The wagon remained after that curve of the road. You won't see it from here. My Lucia was always afraid of the thunderstorms and that lightning hitting the tree was just too much for her...
Does he read my thoughts, or something? Or did I make such a shaw out of myself? The diplomatic skills wouldn't be an unwelcome addition to my education right now...
- I'll just have to keep going through the winter. Then, the colt would grow up. In the meanwhile I'll just have to borrow the Sam the Shit 's horse. The Shit? Sir Woolfred christened him so. They have one of their usual fights with the sir Bloodwill, they do it annually, the taxes from our village are the stake, you see. And sir Bloodwill unhorsed sir Woolfred. The looser was brought by his men to the Sam's house. Sam's wife was the first thing sir Woolfred saw as he came around. So, the first thing he said was: "Haw dared you, Shit, not to bring her to me for the first night?" From that very day, Sam's called the Shit by all the village. While sir Woolfred was busy making baby for Sam, his stallion made do with my Lucia. Now I have a warhorse colt growing. And Sam is positively unable to make up his mind about his will. By the law, the oldest son should have everything, but would sir Woolfred like it? I advised him to go by the law and don't be scared by something, that just may happen after his death. But he's sill too afraid to see the reason...
Listen to him Long Tail, pay attention and memorize. In the last hour your got more intelligence, than in the year of flying around. The question is, how may I direct this torrent? Did I plan to terrify this man? Does he look terrified? No way. Why should it come to pass? Haw did I bought his trust? I broke his horse's backbone - and didn't eat it. I permeated him to skin it. I am paying attention to all his bullshit. Does it fit the evil dragon's behavior pattern? By my tail, I am growing dumb! He would hardly call me bad now. Let's make a bit of a shaw.
An average sized tree is crashed by the slow pressure of my pow - bark and wood and all, and fells slowly with the groaning sound. The wind falls the peasant onto his face, as I get off. That should drive the point home right enough.
So, how much did I really learned? The knights are hardly a news. I saw 'em already. Twice, in fact. The droit le signor? I do know that already. How did I come by this pice of knowledge? Search me. Hardly by practice. I definitely wouldn't think so. The chastity belt is no news too. What's else? The story about one landlord and his peasant. And the amazing fact, that local lords do tend to tax their peasants. Was he actually making fun of me? No. Lets cool down. All that I did asked him about was the origin of his horse's name. And he answered the question. Moreover, now I do know about some of her habits and even who fathered her foal. I just didn't got around asking some right questions. Questions about dragons, for example. So, who played the fool around here?
- Hey, Sir Dragon! Sir Dragon!
- Did my peasant forgot to ask me what time is it? All of a sudden, he moves with the surprising agility. Somebody green and scaly desired to inspire fear and horror. But would have to settle for the doglike adoration instead. He is following me like a pet. Now he misstep. And is falling behind. What a pity. It would have been interesting to test his endurance under more favorable conditions. What may a simple peasant wish from a dragon? Why would he follow one? Rather strange development. Well, you did persuade me to return. If you called me, it shall be you turn to answer some questions. Now you would tell me everything you know about dragons.
My landing was rather spectacular, but the prostrate pose isn't designed for appreciations of the show.
- Do speak up.
But he is out of breath. He certainly could use some jogging in the morning.
- Sir Dragon, mighty as you are, couldn't you possibly see your way to save a girl?
Did she managed to stack in the swamp too? I do have some first pow experience at the rescue operations on this environment. The body, I managed to get out of the swamp still lies not far from here. And would wait there for some woolf I suppose.
- She isn't guilty, sir Dragon, everybody would tell you. To be the sir Terrible 's only heir isn't a crime.
Sir Terrible. That certainly rings a bell. Here, I got it! Ivan the Terrible kills his son. Was it a picture? Ivan the Terrible, called for his foul deeds Vasilievich. No, he's not the man.
- Sir Terrible is going to have his daughter killed?
- He'd never dreamed of it, sir Dragon. The kindest man he was. He cut the taxes in the bad years, he did. And the lady Terrible was nice. Well, for the lady. The girl's their niece. The old lord Terrible, he was the hard man. He disowned his youngest son, the father of Lira. Thrown him from the castle too. For choosing a wife for himself. And now everybody is dead. All but Lira, that is. That makes her the only heiress, doesn't it? But the churchers would rather share the property in question with sir D'Terwill and sir Bloodwill.
Right to the point. The bad guys are out to hurt the poor orphan. And now its up to the nice dragon to run the rescue operation... and make her a princess, I suppose. Should I marry her too? In human form, I hope. The chance of your life the Long Ears, don't you think so? But what the hell the churchers are?
- To make everything nice and legal, the churchers declared her a witch. She is redheaded like her mother was. That almost proves the charges. And its raining today. So she'll burn this evening. Two ours before the sunset.
So they are churchmen, not churchers. Inquisition.
- And what was that about the rain?
- The Divine Trial. If no drop of rain falls in the ten days of the trial, the accused goes free. And the rain proves the guilt. The accused is setting the first day, but no later, then ten days from the hearing. But...
- Come on.
- But how would we survive the summer without rains? The crops would fail. There would be a famine. The God would punish somebody in any case. One - or many. If we don't have a rain for a week, we pay for the prayers.
The climate in the Inquisition's service. And I have to face the holy church. The crusade may be declared too. For the sake of some red haired girl. Which is legally condemned and won't have her lands back in any case. Why on the Earth should I go along?