Эта мини-пьеса писалась для фонетического конкурса на факультете иностранных языков, поэтому переводу не подлежит. По той же причине все роли, кроме Match-man исполняют девушки.
Персонажи
Pamela Travers-одета в халат и домашние тапочки, на сцену выходит с чашкой в руках
Marry Poppins-образ как в кино: пальто, зонтик и т.д.
Match-man-парень, одетый с претензией на богемность
Mrs Lark-девушка в шубке и шикарном платье, в руках у неё игрушечная собака
Red Cow-с головы до ног в красном, имеются рога
Fallen Star-в нашем случае костюмом Звезды был желтый "комбинезон" перешитый из пододеяльника
Admiral Boom-строгий костюм, барсетка
Mr Wigg-шорты на лямках, веселая футболка, в руках - воздушные шары
Red Riding Hood-одеждой напоминает японских школьниц (красная клетчатая юбка, белая рубашка, гольфы, макияж "под японку", вооружена катаной)
Jane and Michael-обычные дети
Вся эта история преподносится как сон Памелы Треверс, задремавшей над очередной книгой.
На сцене - стол, за которым сидит Треверс, все остальные персонажи подходят к ней, после беседы возвращаются за кулисы
1. Jane & Michael
Children: Good Afternoon, Miss Travers! We are Jane and Michael.
Travers: Damn! Children again! Do you want to be the main characters of my book?
Children: Yes, Miss! We think it should be a fairy tale about children, who have a magic power. There'd be a lot of amazing adventures...
Travers: If I will give you a magic power, you destroy my story. (в сторону) Little devils... I will think how to damage your life...
Children: What have you just said, Miss?
Travers: Nothing interesting for you, my heart. Go home, kittens!
2. Admiral Boom
Admiral: Good Day, Miss...
Travers: I'm very glad to see you! Let's create an unusual house for you. It'll be look like a ship!
Admiral: You are crazy! I'm a banker! I'm serious and respectable person!
Travers: A banker? No, it's so boring... You'll be an admiral!
Admiral: It's not suitable for me. I'm afraid of water and I can't swim
Travers: Ok, you'll be an admiral, who had never been in navigation.
3. Match-man
Match-man: Hello, Moddom! I'm going to become a pearl of your book! I'll be a famous artist, whose works will be in the Royal Academy. I'm so wonderful and I'm worthy of the best.
Travers: What? An artist? No, there is already one genius person in a book and it’s me. You'd be a Match-man
Match-man: A destitute match-man? It's awful! I don't want such a role!
Travers: You shall be a Match-man. Without any variants. If you are not agreeing, the door is behind you.
Match-man: Oh... may be, I'll can draw, all the same?
Travers: Yes, you will. On a pavement, by chalk
Match-man: By chalk?
Travers: When the weather is fine. He is so miserable
4. Mr Wigg
Mr Wigg: Hello! I'm Miss Balloon! I can fly!
Travers: You can fly? Oh, it's interesting! We can use it. But, I think, it'll be better for you to be a man.
Mr Wigg: I'll be a transvestite?
Travers: No, man. May be, a strange, but man.
Mr Wigg: I agree... But why I must be a man?
Travers: The British scientist established that it'll be better. Also, you must change a name. You'll be Mr Wigg.
Mr Wigg: Why? I don't wear one!
Travers: But you will!
5. Red Cow & Fallen Star
Red Cow: (танцуя) What a pleasure, to see you, Miss! I'm Red Cow
Travers: Wow, you are REALLY red! It's not a figure of speech! (во время всего разговора бормочет “She is really red!” и хихикает)
Red Cow: Why are you laughing? Is it all right?
Travers: Don't pay attention, my dear, continue, please. What are you going to offer me?
Red Cow: Oh, I'm mad of dancing! I'd like to be a ballet dancer in your book.
Travers: A dancing cow? What's a raving! Nobody will believe this. Cows can't dance. So, I must think a logical explanation. Ok, the star will fall at you. (выходит Звезда, кружится, приближаясь к Корове, звучит заглавная тема из рок-оперы Jesus Christ Superstar)
Red Cow: She is going to fall at me?
Star: Yes, and stick to your horn. And because of me you'd start to dance
Red Cow: You are enough big star... May be, we shouldn't do it? I'm afraid, that you’ll crash me.
Star: We must. There is not the way back. Don't move, please, I need to take aim. (вместе убегают за кулисы, откуда раздаются крики и грохот)
6. Mrs Lark
Mrs Lark: I'm happy to greet you, Miss. Let me introduce. I'm Mrs Lark
Travers: So, I’m all ears
Mrs Lark: I dream to be a rich and very lovable woman. I'd give sweets to children... So, I think, I should have a little son. I'd care about him..
Travers: (interrupt) It's over sweet and nice! My book is not a soap opera. A conflict should be... Also, we must be actual and it should write some about politics.
Mrs Lark: I didn't understand about politics, but what about my son?
Travers: A child is so usual... You'd have a dog.
Mrs Lark: I'm sorry, what?
Travers: Yes, dog. And it'll can speak. Also, your dog would have social-democratic views. He'll stir up a little rebellion against you.
7. Red Riding Hood
Red Riding Hood: Good Afternoon, madame. I'm Red Riding Hood.
Travers: As I remember, you are from Roald Dahl's tale. Where are Wolf and your Granny?
Red Riding Hood: They couldn't come, madame
Travers: Why? Something has happened?
Red Riding Hood: Yes, madame. It were tragically circumstances. I shot at Wolf, but Granny was inside him.
Travers: Inside?
Red Riding Hood: In his stomach, madame.
Travers (поперхнувшись кофе, начинает кашлять)
Red Riding Hood: Madame, are you okay?
Travers (осторожно отодвигаясь от Шапочки): Yes, yes... Don't touch me, please. Are they... dead?
Red Riding Hood: No, madame, Wolf is only injured.
Travers: P-p-pretty girl... It's a pity, but I haven't vacancies for children.
Red Riding Hood: Are you sure? Don't forget about Wolf’s fate...
Travers: Goodbye (stressed). I'll phone you
8. Marry Poppins
Marry Poppins: Good Afternoon, Miss Travers, I hope, I'd be the best Nanny in the world, if you describe me in your book.
Travers: Don't hurry up, my dear. I don't think, that nanny should be very kind and lovable. We must prepare children for real life...
Marry Poppins: Yeah, I understand. Do you mean I should be strict and cruel a little? Can I use physical punishments? I agree with everything, this job is necessary for me.
Travers: Oh... Of course, it's good, that you are ready for everything. But I suppose, we do not need violence. Book's ratting can't exceed PG-13.
Marry Poppins: I'm sure we'll come to the agreement. (протягивает что-то небольшое Трэверс-взятка)
Travers: Yes, yes, we will. See you later
Final
Travers: Everybody, come here! (все выходят, толпятся, Красная Шапочка неотступно идет за Трэверс) So, I decided to write about you, and you...and you... (указывает на всех по очереди)
Red Riding Hood: But what about me?
Travers (резко оборачиваясь) No, it'll be a story without you!
Red Riding Hood: Really? You make a mistake, madame
Travers: Yes, really. Go away, please
Red Riding Hood: (уходя) Don't forget about Wolf’s fate, don't forget, madame...